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The world if christian lived by christian values
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No True Christian, amirite?
Okay, but that's still just The Bible With Extra Steps.
"Oh, you didn't get the deep lore of the original manuscript. You just watched the VeggieTales version" might hold more water if the book itself wasn't choke full of allegories and parables and transcribed oral histories. FFS, Revelations is literally a guy (very likely high off his balls) having a crazy dream.
You can't come at this document and complain "They're getting the message sixth hand rather than fifth hand". Embellishing the story is central to the religion's tradition. How else do we end up with Seventh Day Adventists and Mormons?