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do you apologize, even if it's not your fault just to make the other person feel validated? (linux.community)

submitted 2 days ago by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

20 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3389091

or to keep the peace, maybe you think it's not a big deal but your partner, friend, coworker, parent feels otherwise.

Do you apologize just to validate him?

I always though if I don't feel bad about it, fuck it, I'm not apologizing, deal with it. It's not my fault you're so thin skinned. Grow up.

Now I'm thinking I should be more empathetic and apologize, just to make the aggravated person feel validated, even though I don't feel bad (or that bad).

This gets more complicated because many times coworkers feel offended because I don't share my personal life with them or I'm so concentrated on my job that I don't notice them. Do I apologize for not noticing them?

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[–] solidsnake@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 days ago

I only apologize if i mean it. But I do mean it when I say "I'm sorry for how my actions have impacted you as that was not my intention."

Sometimes people are hurt because of something that's not entirely fair to expect of someone else. That's reality. And I'm sorry that we're not more aligned. If I have to establish a boundary for my own well being I'm not enjoying the difficulty someone else may have with that, but I prioritize myself out of necessity because I an the only one who I can expect to do so.