Asklemmy

50296 readers

359 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS

do you apologize, even if it's not your fault just to make the other person feel validated? (linux.community)

submitted 4 days ago by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

23 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3389091

or to keep the peace, maybe you think it's not a big deal but your partner, friend, coworker, parent feels otherwise.

Do you apologize just to validate him?

I always though if I don't feel bad about it, fuck it, I'm not apologizing, deal with it. It's not my fault you're so thin skinned. Grow up.

Now I'm thinking I should be more empathetic and apologize, just to make the aggravated person feel validated, even though I don't feel bad (or that bad).

This gets more complicated because many times coworkers feel offended because I don't share my personal life with them or I'm so concentrated on my job that I don't notice them. Do I apologize for not noticing them?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] v4ld1z@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 days ago

I sometimes do with my partner, but it's not genuine and she catches up on it too and knows when it's not genuine. I feel like you shouldn't force yourself to apologise just for the sake of apologising, but try and validate the feelings of the person you're apologising to and try to get to the bottom of what's caused the hurting to begin with. Communication is key as always.

Then again, it's different depending on who I'm apologising to. If it's a person I don't have too much contact with or with whom I'm not on a super personal level, I'll apologise out of decency or social obligation but not necessarily because I'm genuinely sorry, if that makes sense?

Depends on the context as well as my and the other person's mental wellbeing and the relationship we share.