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what does it mean being nice to your coworkers to you? (linux.community)

submitted 2 weeks ago by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3368394

and how do you deflect prying questions about you and limit these rituals to 2 minutes instead of wasting 30 minutes?

asking as somebody who, if not on the spectrum, is socially awkward, likes solitude, boundaries and to be left alone (to do the job)

I still believe none of your answers is going to help me because neurotypical solutions don't work for me but I have nothing to lose with this question.

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[–] 0xtero@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Being para-social at workplace is part of the job. We are primates establishing group dynamics after all. Others monkeys need to know if you fit into their Dunbar’s number or if you’re a shit-tosser.

I tend to give short answers without elaboration. ”Where do you live?” Gets one word reply. ”Where did you grow up?” One word. The rest of the time, be silent and don’t engage. Silence works.

Being introverted is fine, but you might havewto accept that others are not. For them parasocial relationships are as important as being alone is for you.

You can, learn to drive different behaviour for a while. I am very introverted myself, but I don’t present myself as one at work, purely because my work requires me to be outward focused public speaker. This takes a LOT of energy so I also need to find recharge time and ”be myself”, but I do that outside work.

Of course it would be ideal if everyone else was just as introverted as I am, but over the years I’ve come to the conclusion it’s easier to adopt a ”work behaviour” than expect everyone to adapt to my level.