this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2025
43 points (100.0% liked)

Asklemmy

50324 readers
695 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
43
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by vfreire85@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

I've met this person and we texted for a while for a couple of weeks. I even asked if we could go out on our own to have a coffee together, and she accepted, but asked for some time to sort things out on her life (I know that she was studying for a difficult selection for a public position. Plus, she's a single mom). But I realized that I was starting and maintaining our interactions every single time. So I decided to give her some space, just to see if she would talk back to me. A day became a week, which became a month, and no sign of her. Did I ghosted her inadvertently, or she wasn't interested in the first place, or she's probably having too much happening in her life and I should be more supportive?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

or she wasn't interested in the first place,

Well:

I even asked if we could go out on our own to have a coffee together, and she accepted, but asked for some time to sort things out on her life

So all I am hearing/seeing there is a no. You asked her out and turned you down and you have not heard from her in a month

It is pretty clear to me she isn’t interested.

Did you ghost her? Does that mattter?

[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Am I too autistic and missing something? If someone says yes and asks for time to sort some stuff out first, to me that means that they said yes and need some time to sort stuff out first?

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It has been a month… pay attention to what they do not what they say.

WTF is there to work out to meet someone for coffee….

[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 5 points 1 week ago

If she's a single mother? Quite a lot, actually.

[–] chonkyninja@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago

No, it means I would but I’m already getting it elsewhere, so if that changes you can be backup.