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Is this ghosting? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by vfreire85@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I've met this person and we texted for a while for a couple of weeks. I even asked if we could go out on our own to have a coffee together, and she accepted, but asked for some time to sort things out on her life (I know that she was studying for a difficult selection for a public position. Plus, she's a single mom). But I realized that I was starting and maintaining our interactions every single time. So I decided to give her some space, just to see if she would talk back to me. A day became a week, which became a month, and no sign of her. Did I ghosted her inadvertently, or she wasn't interested in the first place, or she's probably having too much happening in her life and I should be more supportive?

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[–] nagaram@startrek.website 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You didn't ghost her first of all. Inadvertently or otherwise.

This is a pretty easy way to gauge someone's interest by just seeing if they ever message you first.

Really you should just take this as a sign to move on and work on relationships that are two sided. Ones where the other person texts first.

Sorry its happened to you, but its always better now then after you've invested a serious amount of time and emotional energy into a relationship.

[–] vfreire85@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thanks. I've been working on my self-confidence and self-esteem, so as crazy as it seems this is all new to me.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

I wish you the best of luck on your endeavor! Ghosting would be if she hit you up a bunch and you ignored her. It sucks aaaassss to find out someone cool is too busy or not very Interested, but it sounds like that’s what happened here. You’ll meet someone dope and jive with them eventually, just keep lookin’!

Even if you’re not extremely confident in yourself (which absolutely describes me), if you pretend to be, it not only shows, but it will make you more confident in the future. I’m happy you’re working on that—I faked it and it worked, it’ll work for you too!