This is not a drill. The woke mob has taken Cracker Barrel.
this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2025
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chapotraphouse
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“I gave my life to Christ in the cracker barrel parking lot” is fucking god tier bro
You claim to have given your life to Christ in a cracker barrel parking lot, yet you are still alive. Curious
Giving your life to Christ then: Living in a remote monastery in the mountains, asceticism, vows of abstinence, self flagellation, prayer, humility, studying the Bible, reflection, having a huge bald spot on purpose, abstaining from worldly affairs
Giving your life to Christ now: complaining on the internet, victim complex, using slurs, hating the gays, getting into politics, trying to become famous
I wish these dipshits would RETVRN to shutting the fuck up and leaving society.
Better yet, they should go Simeon Stylites mode and go live on top of a pillar, slowly wasting away.
It's not that early modern Catholicism was great, but holy shit protestantism sucks so much ass.
it's got the same cadence as those "the mothman ate my ass at a buc-ee's" bumper stickers
Christ was like
”I wish people would stop summoning me this way - so fucking cringe”
This should be one of the taglines at the top of the front page