Coffee

That's cool, but seeing as how I'm not Icelandic and my part of Scandinavia haven't used Thorn since the Middle Ages, I think I'm just going to continue using the modern digraph like everybody else. Don't get me wrong - I'm not conservative by nature, but I am a fan of not wasting time of fixing things that aren't broken - that way I can reserve my energy for fixing one of the many, many things that are broken. Good grief, of all the ways one could change English, this is what people focus on? Do something about the damn homonyms! Even native speakers don't know how to use those appropriately more than half the time. Prejudicially terminate any cretin using 'of' in place of 'have' until we can collectively forget that was ever a thing idiots did! Just about other thing would be more worthwhile.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall the first time somebody receives a job application using it. Might as well submit your application in full-on Elder Futhark (it's totally metal!), get a really nice facial tattoo declaring your tribal allegiance (radically metal!) or maybe show up to the interview wearing clip-on cat ears with integrated LEDs (cute, or 'moe' for those in the know!). Employers love that shit. Comes across as professional, sane and dependable, you see.

All right, the old man rant is over. I'll stop impotently shaking my fist at the nearest cloud now, and head back inside. I need a drink anyway. No, two drinks.