this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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Your comment was on top for me in my app, so I was like "oh how bad could it be.". Holy shit you're not wrong, there's some disgusting comments that are getting voted up.
I'm low-key disappointed and appalled by these community members who believe these women "deserve" it for ... Trying to help each other be safer?
saw this happening here, saw it happening in reddit threads on the topic, saw it all over the media cycle in the comments.
i agree, people’s visceral backlash against this app is steeped in a deep misogyny. most of these comments have a vapid absence of any sort of even basic recognition towards these women as people. talking about them like they’re abstract figures or test subjects up in here.
watching people take somewhat valid privacy concerns as an excuse to let loose their most toxic feelings towards women used to be the sort of thing only losers or emboldened megalomaniacs did in public, even just a decade ago.
in the past years i’ve just seen all my peers, regardless of political affiliation, manipulated into a cult of outrage that serves as another hamster wheel upon which capital may spin.
imtiredboss.png
Let's say a vile, manipulative, entitled woman went on a Tinder date with a guy. He insists on splitting the bill rather than paying for her food. She feels insulted.
She then takes to Tea and her local Are We Dating The Same Guy Facebook group, slanders him with false accusations that he tried to sexually assault her, then posts his Tinder, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn profiles online. Suddenly he's being ostracized, receiving nasty messages and even loses his job from women bombarding his employer with negative phone calls, emails and comments about him.
Men have had their lives ruined by false allegations posted to AWDTSG communities before. But opposing the existence of these platforms is "misogyny", apparently.
This is a strawman argument, though. Sure, that can and does happen, but it isn't the existence of spaces like Tea that is problematic, it is the holistic relationship between men and women in our society, generally. Further, I'm clearly not saying opposing Tea is inherently misogyny. It is a very particular kind of reaction that I am talking about, and you know this.
Tea itself really isn't any worse than any other forum. You could have the same thing happen to a man on other platforms, there is nothing unique about Tea in that capacity and it is disingenuous to levy that criticism against the platform in isolation. People dislike it because they have a weird caricature of women in their head and assume every person on this app must have been a gossip or an evil person, yet there is no real basis for that claim other than the fact the audience is mainly women. Hence, the "misogyny," that you seem to not really have the prior life experience to see. You can look through my profile here. I've said plenty in support of men's rights and men's issues as well, I'm really not rabidly in coalition for a particular gender's rights or anything. I'm just calling it as I see it and the reaction to Tea on the web is largely sexist.
No one said false accusations aren't real or that opposing them makes you a misogynist. You're being intentionally obtuse and conflating a critique of people's treatment of women in public discourse with a critique of apps such as these generally to make it seem absurd to point out how sexist some of the reaction to Tea has been. Mostly because I think you saw the word "misogyny" thrown out and for some reason took it as a personal insult or something. I think most people would reflect upon that and I'd hope you would too.
I probably won't further respond because I'm getting the idea honest discourse and dialectic isn't your goal here.