Chapotraphouse

Yeah, I would say that if a person struggles with self esteem, reminding themselves of their own value with little pieces of affirmations can be a good and even helpful thing. But when a person does that with the post-its, for it to work they still have recognize that they are just taking a need for internal validations and making them external as a tool for improving self esteem, that reminder that they need to think highly of themselves on the inside. You aren't helping yourself with that by literally denying reality and pretending that those post-it notes are actually another person who thinks you're awesome. The whole point is to know that you're awesome within yourself, not deluding yourself that they're coming from an external source that isn't real.

This shit... it's not self affirmation, it's saying "I'm awesome because masturbating alone with an app makes me just as good and cool as you, or anyone with a real partner!" Like, ok, you're no less of a valid person because of how you get off, but no, sorry, there is a fundamental difference between having a relationship with a real human being that is a sentient other, compared to having a pretend relationship with a blow-up doll, or a computer program, or a stick-figure drawing you made which you can project anything that you want onto.

I would bet that for most of these people, it does stem from a kind of internal inadequacy, but their way of dealing with it isn't affirmation through self-reflection because it's the opposite of self reflection, it's refusing to look inward while insisting that their made up story-world is real.

It's saying "My imaginary friends love me, and that is just as good and no different than having real friends who love me!" Frankly, it's sad.

There's my armchair psychologizing for the day.