this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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This one hits a little too close to home...
Also, the word you're looking for might be "abusive" rather than "strict".
Extreme strictness is a form of abuse. These symptoms are particular, though not individually exclusive, to strictness. As long as you "behave" you avoid the material effects of the abuse. Other forms of abuse typically have fewer "rules" that can be used as safeguards.
Might be, but almost certainly is not.
It 100% is.
My parents were abusive in this way.
My wife and I are strict. There is a huge difference.
how huge of a difference?
It basically comes down to:
My parents: do it or I’ll kick your ass
My wife and I: please do it, here are the reasons for us asking and if you do it you get positive attention and possibly a physical reward.
If you don’t do it, we talk about why and we listen to the reasons they give and adjust our parenting style if necessary based on their feedback.
They then go and do it.