this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2023
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[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Old guy noticed I had a ton of produce and complimented me at the store.

Bro do you know how rare it is to get like honest compliments from other men?

[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 17 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Honestly, the solution to this, I think, is to start complimenting other men. Men don't compliment each other because they're afraid of being seen as gay (even if they're not aware of it, it's fully ingrained into us from the time we're children). Breaking that barrier and complimenting other men, and not (openly) caring about that stigma will help other men do the same. Eventually, men will start complimenting each other.

Note, I say this as a gay man, so I'm sort of past the whole humiliation of people thinking I'm gay bit. I understand it would likely be more difficult for a straight guy, because you (they?) have to also worry about losing potential romantic partners if people think you're queer.

[–] Nepenthe@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

because you (they?) have to also worry about losing potential romantic partners if people think you’re queer.

Honestly, it really shouldn't be a worry. Maybe it's me, but unless they're being really obvious about another guy's body, I can't think of a compliment that would give me that impression.

Even muscles, if the subject is in fact jacked, I would just think they're a really supportive person and like them more because of it. The insinuation about their innate personality would briefly grab my attention.

[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh, completely agree. It's ridiculous for people to fear that reaction, and ridiculous for people to assume something based on a compliment. But it's one of those things that isn't going to change until we all just say fuck it and change it. I'm rooting for gen z to do this. Lol.

[–] Ataraxia@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

Tell that to men that have been threatened or even had their asses kicked for doing that. A lot of men out there get violent when they think a man is hitting on them.

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