What’s not shown is that the car doesn’t have an engine. Management was really eager to release it to the customer. Don’t worry, it’s planned to get fixed later (spoiler: it’s never going to get fixed).

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

We delivered the car to spec. We have a hamster on a spinning wheel in the engine block now. You can upgrade the engine as part of our enhancement package, which costs an order of magnitude more money for a linear scale in performance.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

I'd like to think that hamster wheel to V12 isn't on a linear scale in terms of step-wise upgrades, but you're right that there's no guarantee that they wont just swap in a larger hamster.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

At some point going as far as trying to genetically engineer an even larger hamster instead of just changing the design so that it could use multiple smaller but parallel hamsters

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

they could invest in hamster-breeder reactor engine, which with enough money injection could create an endless supply of hamsters on wheels competing only for space and attention

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

In fact, maybe we should run offices like that. Just breed developers in a closed system

[–] xthexder@l.sw0.com 3 points 3 days ago

I can't wait for hamster wheel version 12! So much more range than v1

[–] EntirelyUnlovable@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

No no of course not, please feel free to try our new "12 hamsters chained together" package

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 17 points 3 days ago (2 children)

First thing I remember, was asking Scrum Master "Why"?
For there were many things I didn't know
And Scrummy always smiled, took me by the hand
Saying, "Someday you'll understand"

Well I'm here to tell you now, each and every scrum,
You'd better learn it fast, you'd better learn it young
'Cause tech debt sprint never comes

The time and tears went by, and I collected story points
For there were many things I didn't know
When Scrummy went away, he said "Try to be a PM
And someday you'll understand"

Well I'm here to tell you now, each and every scrum,
You'd better learn it fast, you'd better learn it young
'Cause tech debt sprint never comes

And then, one day in April, I wasn't even there
For there were many things I didn't know
An intern was given to me, Scrummy held his hand,
Saying "Someday you'll understand"

Well I'm here to tell you now, each and every scrum
You'd better learn it fast, you'd better learn it young
'Cause tech debt sprint never comes
Ooh, tech debt sprint never comes.

Think it was September, the year I went away
For there were many things I didn't know
And I still see him standin', tryin' to be a PM
I said, "Someday you'll understand"

Well here I am to tell you, each and every scrum
You'd better learn it fast, you'd better learn it young
'Cause tech debt sprint never comes.
Ooh, tech debt sprint never comes.

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 1 points 2 days ago

Haha, well done.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

Mm, yes. Such a wise pancake.

[–] NotSteve_@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

we’ll just launch the login feature this month and put out signup next cycle