this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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chapotraphouse
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I don't even like doritos and didn't even eat em.
The most annoying dude ever who worked for a while at my current job who also tried to get me fired by drunk emailing the owner, I'm still there 3 years later and am the sous chef, he got fired for the email and also for drunk texting me late at night about it. One of the texts was 'you play your games, but I've mastered the killshot' so after he left he was known as Joey Killshot. Dude was the most gen x guy possible with apparently 20 years in kitchens and couldn't handle the easiest job I've ever worked and was really loud about it the whole time, goatee haver etc. Anyway early in his tenure someone else brought some nacho chips to cook off in the pizza oven cause they had gotten bored with work food and he was astounded he didn't use doritos. This guy not only used doritos to make nachos with like cheese and stuff on it, he thought it was normal. I can't think of doritos without remembering the legend of Joey Killshot. One time when we were talking about the legend around a newer person I weird Al improved a version of Lorne Green's Ringo about him. His favorite show was family guy because of the 'great satire'
I all at once want to know everything about Mr. Killshot, but I also feel like I already know him.
Homie would go on about his 20 years of experience but would forget what an 11 inch pizza looked like every day and would take a pan and see if his dough measured to it, which it did. The pans are 12 inches do I have room to cut the pizza. If the dough is cold you may wanna try stretch it more than normal cause it will shrink in the oven but this wasn't what he was doing. He's catchphrase was 'I'm confused', which you'd hear at least 6 times a shift when he wasn't talking about how great a cook he is. He took every remake like a dagger to the heart, where it's a pizza place and I learned real early on that sometimes doughs get a hold or the stone is too hot and the oven burns or mods are fucked up, remakes are absolutely no biggieand sometimes not even anyone's fault. A fatty bit of meat can fizzled through an uncooked dough. Everything was a catastrophe for him and he didn't react to catastrophes well