this post was submitted on 24 May 2025
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My thoughts as well.
Just let your kid masturbate in peace. WTF.
And/or you know, put a web filter / monitoring software for free on your devices that the kids have access to.
Android: Google Family Link, and many others if they aren't trying to use Google products.
Apple has products as well. People just need to pay attention to their kids
The products suck. Google and apple don't really have a monetary motivation to make them good. My kid easily gets around everything. And he is only 11. The best so far was a bark phone. They had to customize the operating system because google didn't provide ways to lock things down. He still found a work around to play music on the talk and text only phone. Only had it a week. There just isn't profit in it. So teach your kids about the realities of the web or they will find out themselves.
I highly recommend Qustudio. It works on phone and PC, and allows you to customise exactly what is monitored or blocked so you can keep an eye on things in an age appropriate way.
We started monitoring after we found out our 12 year old daughter was catfishing a 19 year old boy. He had no idea and after we explained that she could literally ruin his life, and made her tell him her age he noped out of there. (Wisely.)
At first we had it set to monitor everything, report all searches, all app downloads, block porn, etc.
Yes she was able to get around certain features, like when she was young we had the phone locked past midnight... But it logs when it's in use, so we then had a talk the next day and took away the phone or PC if needed.
As she got older we removed the block on all websites, and stopped monitoring any messages. We kept the software on to let us know when she was using her devices because she would often be up until 3am on her phone on a school night and we would then have a conversation about it.
We removed it when she was 17 or 18.
I currently pay for qustodio. He can pown that thing in so many ways it isn't funny. I have had multiple conversation with thier support, and usually the answer is that they can't do anything about that because android doesn't allow them to. For the pc it is windows of course, and they allow even less. Given the age of your kid now, there may not have been as many youtube videos back then explaining how to get around these parental controls. But there are now.
I have a technical background, so I can understand the things he is doing. Like I know what a vpn is, and how it can be used. So I can tell him that if he installs one there will be punishments. But most parents wouldn't even know what it is, and if they got an alert about it, would probably believe whatever story thier kid told them about it.
And don't get me started on the horrible parental controls on the switch. And roku effectively has none (they only work on the roku channel).
If a kid has any ambition, they can get around the vast majority of controls. And if the parent is not technical, they have no chance of really stopping a kid who wants to access something.
Thanks for sharing! A lot of it I saw was about people not locking down phones so kids had access to uninstall and reinstall apps to bypass blocks. Which if the app store / play store is locked to a parents Apple ID, unless the kid knows their password they shouldn't be able to reinstall the apps. But all the same I agree there will in the end be a way to get around if they try hard enough. That said, what's to stop someone just installing a 3rd party app store and using that, not sure. Unless the parental controls block .apk files and such.
If you don't mind me asking, why were you trying to block music though? I would imagine if you block everything, they have more reason to try to find work arounds. If they have access to music and videos that are just filtered for porn/lewd or what not content, they have less reason to try to find work arounds and are more likely to comply, especially if the punishments for being caught finding a work around is high.
Oh, and for the android tablet, he can use routines. One called focus can be configured to close the parental controll program anytime it tries to launch. I was actually kinda proud about how he found that workaround. He didn't even learn it from the web, just figured it out on his own. But anyway, they only fix is to block access to settings. But then he can't manage Bluetooth devices like headphones, or join wireless networks like at the doctors office. And the app people say there is nothing they can do because android doesn't give them the ability to control things as fine grained as that.
In the case of the phone, it is something he will take to school with him next year. Many for the location tracking. We didn't have the option to bus for elementary school. So this will be his first time bussing. I can totally see him just going to a friends house from the bus stop. With the phone he could text us, and we would also be able to see where he is if he forgets.
But anyway, it is supposed to be totally locked down so it is boring and not a temptation at school. But if he can play music, he probably will do so in class and cause problems. His other devices that stay at home are not as locked down.