this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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Oh shit, I thought it was just me. I was so subconscious about it, I actually tie it up all the time. Then one day I started to get more confident and just let it down all the time.
One time(while wearing a mask) someone called me ma'am. Another time a Indian man in Brisbane was being a dick and told me women can't be in the male bathroom.
I also used to have long hair and would accidentally get called ma'am back in the day. I noticed the person who said it is usually wayyy more mortified than you are. Partly because they misgendered you, but mostly because they totally just checked out your ass too. After realizing that, it never bothered me again.
Growing my hair out forever ago is how I learned (started, anyway) I have only a faint attachment to the male identity. I got called "ma'am" with surprising regularity and it never bothered me to be misgendered. My hair's still long, but I'm fat and bearded so waitstaff are a lot more confident from all angles. People were a lot more casually homophobic back then too, but girls loved to play with it so the joke's on them.
I've always kept it brushed and loose unless I'm working and need it out of the way. (Or it's windy. Damned wind.)
Danm wind. Every time I ride a motorcycle, tangled level 100.