this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
489 points (96.2% liked)

Not The Onion

15937 readers
1065 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/28523918

This made me laugh incredibly hard, so had to cross post it.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago (16 children)

fun fact... killing jesus was always god's plan. god set adam and eve up in the garden specifically so he could LARP as a Nice Guy™. In fact, not killing jesus would have condemned humanity to eternal suffering, and therefore would have been sin. Not that anyone had a choice, because it's all part of god's plan, right, and god's plan always comes to fruition.

If you believe in that sort of thing.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (12 children)
[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The Abrahamic god is literally a war god. It evolved from El and Yahweh, members of the pantheon of the polytheistic Canaanite religion. El is the father of all gods and Yahweh is a weather and war god. So yeah no wonder that the Abrahamic god does crazy evil shit. Like killing all first born sons.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

You just inspired another wikipedia rabbit hole. See you in a week!

load more comments (10 replies)
load more comments (13 replies)