The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

Be kind
Ask people what they think, and why
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility (EDIT: no, this is not specifically referring to Nazis. I get it, they're the first thing that comes to mind. I'm not telling you to approve of Nazis I'm just saying be kind to your fellow lemmites)
Engage sincerely
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
Make this small space worth being in

A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

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[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 153 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Here are some more specific examples to think about!

Compliment people's art and ask about their process
Teach people about something you're knowledgeable on
Give constructive criticism on peoples projects when it's welcome
Thank people for posting things you're glad you got to see, tell them you enjoyed it
Tell people you're glad they're here
Tell people you hope they have a good day

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts :) if you have thoughts of your own, I'd love to hear them!

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 45 points 2 days ago (2 children)

On constructive criticism - definitely rule one is make sure that it's invited first, but second, the best way to "sweeten" a critique and make it more appealing is to put it between compliments. Don't have a bare remark about the problems or suggestions, tell them what you like first, then how they might change things, and then close with something else positive or simply thanking them for sharing it. Even if someone says they want to hear what people think, it's normal to be defensive, so help lower that reaction first, and then leave them feeling appreciated even though you pointed out issues you saw.

[–] Shadow@lemmy.ca 24 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Aka the compliment sandwich. A technique I personally dislike. Be honest and open with your feedback in a positive way, don't try to hide it between compliments. If your feedback is simply negative, keep it to yourself.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compliment_sandwich

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 16 points 2 days ago

I agree it can be used fallaciously, often found in the business world. My point was to include both good and bad honestly and not hide it, and people won't shut down if they get the good first. It also depends on the subject - if they're on the right track and your suggestion leads to better results, that's not as negative as telling someone they're doing something incorrectly and offering a different way.

In the end, how you say things is just as important as what is said.

[–] richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one 5 points 1 day ago

100% agreed. If I see a compliment sandwich, I assume that the person using the technique is lying about the compliments and I lose all respect for them.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Absolutely agree, some folks just wanna share, some folks wanna get constructive crit to try and technically improve! Its important to be respectful of what kind of interaction folks are looking for :)

And absolutely, talking about both good and bad doesn't just make it less unpleasant or more enjoyable to get feedback, it also makes better, more helpful feedback! (Assuming that's a thing they're looking for)

[–] pirat@lemmy.studio 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are you open to some additional thoughts / feedback on feedback / constructive criticism?

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I am! Thank you for asking :)

Ive gotten a lot of assumptions about what I meant and that's a bit frustrating but I really value honest sincere dialogue, if you have thoughts you think would be worth sharing I'd love to hear them my friend!

[–] pirat@lemmy.studio 2 points 1 day ago

I thought I had hit reply on your other comment going into more detail (whoops!).

Like I did in this example, ask if people are open to feedback (if you're the one giving it).

Often when I am training groups on how to work together, I always try and frame feedback as a gift.

If someone is giving you feedback, they are genuinely trying to help you grow - and that's a gift. The issue here though, is not everyone is a good gift giver - and we can't control that.

What we do have control over is how we recieve gifts - often all you need to do is say thank you. Don't explain why you're not going to use this feedback (if you plan not to incorporate it). Other than clarifying the feedback to better understand how to incorporate it, saying thank you is the best way to go about it.

As far as delivering feedback I always say "if you can choose to be anything in this world why choose anything other than kind."

It is important to state that "being kind" doesn't mean not having the difficult conversations or delivering difficult feedback - you can still do that without being cruel. Being assertive isn't being aggressive.

A bit rambly but if you're ever working with folx on delivering feedback, I've found that presenting these frameworks with it ste super helpful

[–] Lemmchen@feddit.org 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm not one for religion, but I for one would like to join the Church of Cris.