this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"As punishment for trying to take my life, I take from you, not your life, but that which is most precious, most dear, most valuable!" With a flourish, he swept his hand dramatically over their heads. They gasped. "There. It is done," he declared. Richard and Kahlan, who had been leaning against the house, stood up straight.

For a moment no one moved; then a fellow in the midst of the mob thrust his hand into his pocket and felt around. "My gold. It's gone."

Zedd rolled his eyes. "No, no, no. I said the most precious, the most dear. That which you pride above all else."

Everyone stood a moment, confused. Then a few eyebrows went up in alarm. Another man suddenly thrust his hand into his pocket and felt around, eyes wide in fright. He moaned and then fainted. The ones near by drew back from him. Soon others were putting their hands in their pockets, cautiously feeling around. There were more moans and wails, and soon all the men were grabbing at their crotches in a panic. Zedd smiled in satisfaction. Pandemonium broke out among the mob. Men were jumping up and down, crying, grabbing at themselves, running around in little circles, asking for help, falling on the ground, and sobbing.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

LMAO do I need to read this? I think I do.