this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy
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You lack rizz, my friend. I wish I could lend you some of mine, because I have more than I need (when I chose to use it)
Yes, losing weight would help but it isn't everything.
Hmm. My husband is pretty dull in most aspects, but he was doing climbing when we started dating. I thought that was cool. I also happen to like games, as does he- so we bonded over our mutual appreciation for gaming. He also spent a great deal of time in school (he's a mechanical engineer) and though I probably shouldn't tell you this he was a virgin until he was in his 30's. If he can find someone, you can too
I think your best bet is to start trying out different hobbies, especially physical ones (not suggesting climbing, but try hiking? I don't know where you are, but Meet-up is a good way to meet people and hiking seems to be a common thing around where I live)
If you need dating advice you can ask me. I'm about to be 40, but I did quite a bit of it in my 20's and 30's before I settled down. If you land dates I might be able to help you get specific women's attention
What's your type (if you have one) and I mean less about how they look and more about how they act (figuring out what motivates them will be a big step forward in being able to date them)
I guess my type of woman (well looks like wise white American) is someone who’s just kind and caring also who’s more extroverted tbh. I mean I do like someone who takes care of themselves (I’m trying to do that just ya know struggling but not like I gave up on it) and someone who wants a long term relationship that will lead to marriage.
Basically my type is someone who shares the same western ideals as I do (I grew up Muslim but not anymore and I’m brown as well) and someone who’s liberal I guess if that helps.
Gotcha. Lessee. My husband is part Korean, part various Hispanic, and I'm mostly white (born in South Africa so I have a spattering of various ethnicities given that my ancestors were sailors to some degree).
Husband (who also has a strong, white, preference) says that generally women tend to want to stay in their ethnic group, while men are more likely to want someone outside their ethnic group. I'm not certain on the validity of that, since where I live there is a whole lot of variation in couples.
Either way, that might be adding to your challenges! It also depends on your area. Where I live there are plenty of mixed couples, but if you're in a state where people tend to stay within their ethnic groups that's gonna be a lot harder
Finding someone who has your exact beliefs is also extremely difficult. I never would have guessed I would marry someone like my husband. He leans conservative, while I lean liberal (for example).
But what I meant is: if you like a sporty woman, going to the gym is where you might find one. If you like an artsy woman, take a random art class at a community College. If you like an out-going woman, you'll want to check your area for "fun things to do". If what you want is an introvert who plays DnD, then try to find a DnD group. Try to figure out what interests the women you want will have- and then go there.
Keep in mind this will take time. You have to be friends with them first (for long term relationships) and then work your way into their hearts/minds/panties from there.
And side note, you could easily be friend zoned. But, with luck, she might have a single friend who she'd think you'd be perfect with :)
Hey thanks for saying that. I was thinking of maybe joining a therapeutic riding volunteering place cause I noticed that there tends to be a lot more girls there and I might be wrong could be a wrong assumption but hey at least I’ll be able to ride on a horse on to the sunset lol.