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Is it too late to date for me? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by alphapro784@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hi my fellow Lemmy users! It’s been a while since I used this platform and boy did I actually miss you all ❤️

It’s just that I’ve been more so focusing on myself in my career and in my own education. So I graduated back in June and man it sure does feel like a lifetime ago already. Settled in a good paying job and still trying to improve myself wherever I can.

This brings us to the question that I wanted to ask everyone here. As I’ve been very focused on academics and career stuff I never had the opportunity to date and I’ve been rejected very frequently (which is to be expected as a man tbh). I haven’t been able to lose weight and that I’m 25 years old.

I know that’s still pretty young but I still feel so behind on dating tbh. Is it still too late for me to find someone I want to be with after I’ve lost weight? Does losing weight help for men as it does for women? I’ve been trying to join meetups, volunteering (just to meet new people tbh) and really put myself out there. It’s just idk like all my friends are committed and I’m just floating around life whilst focusing on my career.

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[–] alphapro784@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks for saying that, I appreciate you highlighting the positives of me. You're right when it comes to confidence, its just that I do hard things that people don't do because its just I wanted to prove that I am worthy for love and relationships. I do try to work on my confidence my trying to validate myself internally (that's why I have like positive affirmations notes with me all times and Marcus Aurelius famous quote of you having power over your mind).

Its still a work in progress but its just I crave for love so much and honestly this is something I just can't help but blame my own weight because women tend to like slimmer men even if there are women who like chubbier or even don't care about your weight. But the reality has been in my experience been that they do prefer men who are athletic or at least who look good but when you're not that its been a vicious cycle for me where to cope for rejection I'd just turn to eating more as a coping mechanism or a stress reliever. I do hope that women are more open minded and I do hope I am wrong about that. Again, thanks for your comment I appreciate you saying that.