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would dating my ex friend be worth it, do you think he could love me and would calm down if i said yes or am i just thinking this out of sadness? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 15 hours ago* (last edited 47 minutes ago) by drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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i just broke up with my bf who ghosted me bc he realized he's gay (im a woman). i don't even think i like guys but i have this compulsion to ask out my friend who i blocked to have a man that treats me right instead of the other guy that ghosted me, and also to make him happy.

he kept talking about how he could treat me better than anyone else, that i should've ditched my bf for him (obv i said no), and badmouthed not only his gf of a few years since age 16 but also his first time. he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia and she blocked all his socials after he left.

he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn't want to be his gf so ik he doesn't care about consent regardless of what he says. he also completely ignored me liking women and acted like i was straight but i feel lonely.

i kinda wanna make him happy and have a bf who pays attention to me but ik i'm probably just saying this out of sadness. we were friends but i had to block.

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[–] ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 21 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

This situation seems messy. Breaking up and going straight to someone else before you work on yourself seems like a mistake. This friend also seems to not be trustworthy. Why did you block them in the first place?

[–] drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (2 children)

thanks so much, i blocked him because he wouldn’t stop harassing me. he told me to ditch my bf for him and didn’t care that i didn’t have feelings for him. in fact, he didn’t care much about my personality or identity so long as i was his girlfriend. that’s all he saw, nothing else outside of that.

and even though he wanted me to “take my time”, he was convinced i was his future wife despite only having known me for about a week all because i was pretty and nice to him.

he also didn’t actually care whether or not i liked him, he just wanted me to say yes regardless. i feel like since that was his first time, he’d have sex with me, force me into doing it if i said no, and then break up and badmouth me.

[–] reallyzen@lemmy.ml 9 points 9 hours ago

Re-read your own words. This went from unhealthy to straight-up dangerous.

[–] ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 7 points 12 hours ago

Asking you to cheat while they would also be cheating is a huge red flag as a potential partner and friend. Sounds like you know what you need to do :)

You're worth more than that!