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Is it too late to date for me? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by alphapro784@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hi my fellow Lemmy users! It’s been a while since I used this platform and boy did I actually miss you all ❤️

It’s just that I’ve been more so focusing on myself in my career and in my own education. So I graduated back in June and man it sure does feel like a lifetime ago already. Settled in a good paying job and still trying to improve myself wherever I can.

This brings us to the question that I wanted to ask everyone here. As I’ve been very focused on academics and career stuff I never had the opportunity to date and I’ve been rejected very frequently (which is to be expected as a man tbh). I haven’t been able to lose weight and that I’m 25 years old.

I know that’s still pretty young but I still feel so behind on dating tbh. Is it still too late for me to find someone I want to be with after I’ve lost weight? Does losing weight help for men as it does for women? I’ve been trying to join meetups, volunteering (just to meet new people tbh) and really put myself out there. It’s just idk like all my friends are committed and I’m just floating around life whilst focusing on my career.

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[–] Angry_Maple@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One of my coworkers struggles with this too, but maybe for different reasons.

My coworker projects that he just wants a long term relationship. That's fine and dandy on the surface, but hear me out for a second. Would you rather date someone who loves you specifically, or someone who just wants to be in a relationship? Would you rather be with someone who finds you amazing, or someone who is only dating you because other people their age are dating?

This can also cause the person you're interested in to be concerned about whether you are who you say you are. It may cause them to question if you did really fall for them, or if you're playing the part to avoid being single. People who have experienced that will be more cautious dating anyone who just wants to be with someone.

I'm not saying that's the case for you, but I've seen it happen a lot. I think that's also a part of what people mean when they tell you to focus on building yourself up, and to let love happen when it happens. Don't be like my coworker.

You are still very young, and you have a lifetime ahead of you. Don't count yourself out yet.

[–] alphapro784@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

If that's the case then that makes sense. Its just that if I stop going out there, I said in my other comment that no one will come to be or I'm just you know alone but not in a good way. There is nothing wrong with being alone but for me its that my family is really forcing me to get married to someone they like and things I value are very different from what the girl my family wants me to marry. I know its fucked up but here we are.