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What is a fair way to split costs when my girlfriend moves in? (I own the apartment) (lemm.ee)

submitted 3 days ago by AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My girlfriend and I are planning to move in together in ~3 months.

I own a small apartment in Amsterdam, my mortgage, heating, water and electricity is about 2000 Euro a month, and I earn 30% more than she does.

Some context: Amsterdam is damn expensive and in an housing crisis, since living here she's been paying about 1000/m to rent a room. Both of us earn quite well and money isn't tight

What is a fair way to split costs? I've heard everything from she should live here for free because I was paying for everything anyway to we should split everything 50/50, and I'm not sure what is fair.

I don't think 50/50 is fair, because the way I see it, I'm going to get back a fair amount of the money I pay to my mortgage when I sell the apartment.

So what is fair? My gut feeling is something like we split the heating, electricity, groceries etc. 50/50. And she pays say 500 Euro a month for living here (less than half what she's used to paying in rent)

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[–] iriyan@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If she has to pay for it then she can bring anyone she wishes into her apartment ... with payment come rights.

[–] Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 days ago

I am seriously concerned that in your mind, without payment she would have to ask for permission.

In my personal situation, my gf is staying with me regularly for a while (LDR atm). When she stays here she doesn't have to pay for anything. (She wants to pay for some food) The only thing, I have requested in that situation, is that she tells me when she brings a friend to our place and that preferably I would like to know the friend before they appear in my private space. In other words, I just don't want to open the door and see an unexpected stranger sitting on my couch. Please note, I asked her to respect that. I asked.