this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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"Why are men in general so emotionally constipated? omg stop crying like a pussy; we just asked a question!" - the patriarchy, oppressing us all
feminism is for everyone. patriarchy is both against and enforced by everyone
When i was a kid it was the opposite... but in my adult years it's been overwhelmingly women that tried to enforce masculinity on me any time I stepped out of the bounds of masculinity and did something feminine (wear feminine clothes, cry, make a comment getting hit on by men to name a few). I was a closeted trans woman in denial which made it extra annoying whenever it happened. Now that I'm out the women in my life have been extremely supportive so there is that. However whenever I go out in full femme with outfit and make-up I noticed it's women who stare at me, had one lady look me up and down three times pretty deliberately while standing 4ft away from me. I don't always see it as malicious (not that i would care), more like they're curious or maybe even liking fit. But it's an interesting contrast compared to men who seem to give me almost no mind or attention by comparison. It was something I didn't expect.
Yes, and many women are strict enforcers of the patriarchy, too. Boys are raised to deny their feelings by both parents, because both parents were raised that way, too. There’s a focus on hyper masculinity that hurts both men and women, and is perpetuated by both men and women. Society has been leaning away from that, but it’s caused a backlash that’s kinda hurting us right now. And some social media is amplifying it.
We’ll get past it, but it’s going to hurt for a while.
Eh, this is all stuff that was written up in the 70s and 80s, it's gonna take a while before anyone even attempts to do anything about it.
Yes, it was written up back then. Which is a large reason why many more GenZers were raised without those toxic values, because their GenX parents actually read that shit.
So this upcoming generation are being called woke pussies for being raised with empathy and against the historical gender norms, and that’s causing the normal pendulum of conservative panic to swing society in the other direction right now.
If you’ve watched history happen and really read about it critically, this is all very predictable.
My wife makes way more than me, with the potential to be sole provider in less than 5 years. I told her id love to stay home and take care of the house/kids. She got offended, and said itd probably end our marriage because that wouldnt be masculine.
Shes always been a big proponent for gender equality... i guess she always only ever thought of one gender
Take precautions. Seriously. Economic abuse is just as if not even more common than physical abuse. And you already know she's got emotional abuse locked and loaded.
I think the ideology you think of when you say it's for everyone, is egalitarianism. Feminism can't be for everyone in the same way that patriarchy can't mean "womens oppression of men".
Unless of course, you're looking to confuse with the terminology.
It's ironically self-unaware victim-blaming to use the male-based word "patriarchy" to describe a set of societal norms and expectations that both sexes are equally responsible for creating and perpetuating. Puts the blame entirely on men and takes women completely off the hook.
Pure sexism.
I say the same about calling the movement feminism
If men are equally welcome in it, it's not feminism anymore, it's egalitarianism, but every woman I've ever seen it suggested to flips their shit while every man I've seen it suggested to goes "yeah that makes sense"
This has nothing to do with men being in position of power, this has everything to do with people having no empathy. If we lived in a matriarchy and people acted the same way they would still be assholes.
Are people this shitty to women when they express sadness?
Yes
Patriarchy says that men can't be "soft" because that's a womanly trait, and women are inferior.
No, patriarchy is men having power, it doesn't define what they can or can't do otherwise.
By patriarchy, I mean it in the context of feminism, as in the ideology that attempts to rationalize the idea of that men are better than woman, by using things such as religion, bioessentialism, and more. There are many definitions.
So toxic masculinity, not patriarchy.
Toxic masculinity is an effect of the patriarchy. These are the toxic traits that eminate from masculinity as defined by the patriarchy.
But hey at this point we're arguing about semantics. There are traits that men and women are taught as being bad to do as men, even though some of those traits are actually necessary, or just part of someone's personality.