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What are some dating mistakes you often see when people try seeking a partner? (kbin.melroy.org)

submitted 1 day ago by Nyxicas@kbin.melroy.org to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

66 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have a few.

One is abbreviation hell. Nobody is going to spend the time trying to decipher what you mean when you use over several abbreviations. It is just better if you'd explain than expecting people to understand aside from commonly used abbreviations that are easy to understand.

Another is overstepping your limits for the sake of getting a partner. Compromising your own standards is perhaps one of the worst things you can do when it comes to trying to find dates. Like you're suddenly okay with dating single parents but you don't like children. You're suddenly okay with dating religious people but you're not religious. Things like that. Because it means you're desperate and you're setting yourself up and setting them up for a bad date.

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[–] Xiisadaddy@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

Maybe its the demisexuality talking but i feel like its not common enough to like just be friends with people first? Like on dating apps people want to immediately jump into a date or something and i think it'd be a lot healthier to just like get to know eachother as friends first then decide if you want to date in a few months. I dont understand the desire to go on a date with someone you just met i guess.

[–] save_the_humans@leminal.space 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

I think its way healthier and I wish this was the common sentiment.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 0 points 10 hours ago

I have never ever ever wanted to "just be friends" first. I am not looking for a new friend. I have friends. I am looking for intimacy that's not typically available for friends, and sex.

Furthermore, the timeline and transition points for "just friends" to "dating" are not defined. If I want to kiss now but we're on a "just friends" track, what do I do? Probably pursue someone who wants what I want, and not spin my wheels hoping the other person will come around

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 2 points 21 hours ago

It might be just me, but all of the best dates and relationships I've had over the years (including my now wife) all started with a spark of attraction upon meeting that we jumped into exploring together and developed a friendship over the course of dating. My wife became one of my best friends long before we got married but that definitely developed over time, while the attraction and romance definitely came on strong right at the get go.

I had a couple times transitioned into dating friends but each time it just didn't fit right (even if the relationship lasted a while) and ended up rather distant from them. Also too, I never had any luck dating online, they all came the old fashioned way.