why do you refer to yourself in the third person? and why did you link to that comment thread at almost the end? i had to hit "show context" like 15 times to have any idea what the fuck was happening.

neither of these things are helping with people's confusion. you are aggressively insisting that everyone understands and agrees with your viewpoint on a niche side of a niche community. you can't expect people to understand the context without being deeeeep in that community. this is probably one of the most trans friendly spaces on the Internet. calling the space generally transphobic is a little too victim complexy.

anything that's more of a safe space than this is going to be a complete and total echo chamber with no opposing or dissenting views on anything whatsoever. if you want to go somewhere where people can't disagree with you, it sounds like your own discord server where you can ban people for that is the only option.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz -5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Drag uses person-independent drag/dragself pronouns.

[–] thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

i and me aren't gendered pronouns. you're just using the third person...

pronoun replacements like that are for he/him/her/herself/whatever. unless you're implying that you aren't you somehow? replacing first person pronouns like that just means you're using the third person all the time.

why do you feel the need to do that? what is wrong with i and me? is "you' out of bounds too?

[–] Ridgetop18@lemmy.blahaj.zone -2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's a whole lot of reply for having not even read what drag said. "person independent pronoun". It's a pronoun that functions indepent of first/second/third person case.

I reckon respecting pronouns means respecting pronouns, not just the ones you approve of. You wouldn't try and tell somebody that their name or spelling thereof is wrong just because you don't like it would ya?

[–] thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm sorry i don't know what person independent pronouns are. i am not deep in the trans community. I'm just trying to understand. being aggressive like this about genuinely complicated and nuanced things that 90% of the population doesn't understand is a big part as what pushes people away from understanding.

why do they exist though? is it like a split personality thing? what does it mean to not identify with first person pronouns? just towing the line and doing what I'm told isn't my style. i need to understand what I'm saying. it's like the difference between using a math formula and understanding how it works. i don't like using words that I don't understand.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz -4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Drag would feel respected in drag's gender identity if you used drag's preferred second person pronouns, yes. But you don't have to.

[–] thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I'll try, i don't want to be disrespectful and I'm sorry if my tone has been a bit heavy.

can drag try to help me understand why drag feels that way? why don't first person pronouns work for drag.

and man, it's hard to avoid words that one uses through habit without thinking. I've had to edit this like five times to catch all of the "you's". it's just not a layer of consciousness in my brain. i have to kind of break my brain to stop saying "you". it feels like having to avoid saying "the"

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz -5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

First person pronouns work just fine for drag. Drag is a first person pronoun, and also a second and third person pronoun. That's what person-independent means.

Drag likes it because it acknowledges drag's identity as a dragon rider. Drag originally wanted to go with xi/drag person independent pronouns, which inflected differently depending on subject or object construction. But people confused drag for the Chinese president. So drag dropped the xi pronouns. A lot of people have complained they don't like the drag pronouns, but most of them are reacting better than the first idea. Xi was a more traditional sounding subject form pronoun and people liked it even less.

[–] thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

that's a lot of effort to ask of someone just because you like it. it feels like khaleesi requiring people to use her full title all the time. you and i are just a standard part of language that don't diminish what one is. i am no less my name and my identity because i use i and me. those words just exist to make speaking easier and less clunky. and as i mentioned before, they're such standard and thoughtless parts of language that it genuinely takes a lot of effort to avoid them for just one person. so I'll use drag instead of any gendered pronouns, but you is just part of the English language that you don't have a good reason for me to put that effort into avoiding.

so I'll take you up on your former offer of not using drag instead of you. I won't misgender you and call you something you're not, but you're still you. that's not inaccurate. I'm not misidentifying you by saying that. I'm just not calling you you're full title every time i speak. to me this is the same as not calling someone sir just because they think they deserve special treatment.

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This entire time I just thought you were talking in the third person as some sort of novelty account.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

(They are)