this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
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I know people have spent longer on the ISS but at some point, I’d come back in a Home Depot bucket wearing a spacesuit with some scuba gear.
And for those who want to argue about the heat shielding on a Home Depot bucket, I’d be responsible about it. I’d glue all kinds of shit to it. Steal a parachute from the Roscosmos side. I’d be fine.
“You’d land in the Indian Ocean."
This isn’t rocket science. It’s the opposite. I’ll land where I want. I’d aim for your mom’s house and land in her bedroom. Injuries would include a crushed pelvis and not from the fall. That’s just what happens when I visit your mom.
Reads like a Mark Watney diary entry
Death by snu snu. Nice.
Glorious build up to a "fucked yo mama" joke. Excellent pacing!