this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/so-you-found-out-youre-agender-because-you-don-t-understand-trans-people-886fdee6f178
I will make no secret about how I don't really understand transgender people, it used to annoy me, but since about a year or two ago I realized that it doesn't matter to me, and it apparently matters a lot to them.
So I stopped caring enough to be annoyed, I realized that if they are happy and it doesn't hurt others, then I have no reason to make their day worse.
To all trans people, I may not understand what you feel, but I will not be a dick about it, my confusion is my own issue and I will do my best to not make it yours.
I wish more people were okay with not understanding other people or what they do to express themselves and their identity, but accepting them regardless, so you have my commendations.
People way into body piercing confuse me, but if that's your thing, go for it. As long as you are doing what makes you comfortable in your own body, that's the important part.
Thank you, you are very kind, I try to be a decent person
Everything that I was about to write were already written, what I'm supposed to comment now??
That’s fair. It took me years of living with it and trying to sort through my feelings to understand it. I’ve long liked to use the analogy of appendicitis. I have no idea what my appendix feels like, maybe I’ve felt it but it’s just somewhere in my guts and there’s no reason to notice. But when someone develops acute appendicitis it apparently hurts so bad they struggle to think about anything else. Gender dysphoria is kinda like that. Most people have a gender, but so long as everything is going right they won’t really notice much of it unless they’re seriously looking to. But for some of us it hurts like hell and we had to do some figuring out and treatment.
But beyond that, the older I get the more I’m feeling like the basic unit of freedom is the statement “I don’t understand but it clearly matters to you.” For more things more people need to learn to think that way, and it can go all the way from things like people being trans to how people 5 years younger than me decided to start growing mustaches that I associate with cops to all sorts of things. I’m a city girl, I don’t get why people want to live in rural areas, but they do and it’s not my place to judge them or stop them.
Huh, I've been banging on about this for awhile in isolation after talking to a lot of cis people about gender and it's really weird to see it in an article by someone else.
Weird and validating.
You're not alone. The antirealist community says lots of things like this.