Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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For self-hosting, be mindful IP addresses have reputation scores and your IP needs to build them up positively. You need to have reverse DNS set, DKIM, SPF records etc for a more trusted reputation, domain reputation etc to not be flagged and sent to spam folders. I just got the $1/month Proton E-Mail for 10 addresses for 1 custom domain as I didn't feel like dealing with any of this with self hosting, but props for going the self-hosting route.
Yes, you're right. But to be honest, it only took me four weeks of perseverance and a few mails to the administrators of spam lists and I had no more problems with receiving and sending mail.
If you set up your mail server correctly and also enter a postmaster address, you will be informed of any problem, no matter how small, and can address it promptly.
I was surprised at how quickly and, above all, helpfully the staff at the spam list providers respond when you write to them politely and, if necessary, ask for more background information and best practices.
It was definitely worth it for me and I would do the work and build up the knowledge again at any time. As a result, you have maximum freedom in configuration and extensive options for customizing your own workflow in dealing with emails.
ISPs often have SMTP relay servers. If you hook into that, your mail gets instant street cred.
Amazon SES is good for this too. I use it in combination with postfix for the outbound mail. Granted it feels a bit like cheating on the whole self hosting part, at least for outbound. And I only started doing it in the past year of self hosting for 20 years. MS (Hotmail, Outlook, Office 365) was by far the biggest asshole in randomly denying delivery from my (well maintained reputation wise and well configured) outbound IP before switching to an SES relay. Fuck em, seriously. It’s not just about preventing spam, it’s clearly a strategy towards email dominance. Other big players are guilty of this too though.