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What the hell is even "self care"? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.ca

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I have been trying out various therapy services lately (they all suck and do nothing, but that's another topic). One of the things that the therapists always ask/say is if I do "self care" or tell me to do more "self care". They talk about all kinds of different things that range from eating right to eating something as a treat to exercising to going for a walk to finding a hobby to etc.

So it seems like "self care" is literally anything that benefits your existence. And I'm quite frankly confused. I live alone and have zero responsibilities outside of work. Isn't every moment of every day when I'm not working considered self care? When I go home at the end of the day, I have dinner and dick around on the internet. I don't have kids or pets so there's nothing else to worry about. I don't have any extra responsibilities. My continued existence is "self care". I don't get it.

What I would understand in all of this is if I had maybe like kids or a sick family member I had to take care of. Is that who "self care" is for? People that have extra responsibilities? Because for those of us loners, basically our entire existence is self care. So I'm confused at what any of that is supposed to accomplish. I already do everything for myself.

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[–] doomcanoe@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

So I always imagine it a bit like this.

Imagine you are playing the SIMS, lo and behold you are your own SIM. But the objective in the corner doesn't specify money, it specifies well-being and happiness.

Your SIM is only programmed to take care of their base necessities, but those will only get your well-being and happiness bars up about 20%.

What do you do to fill them up the rest of the way? Mind you, some ways to fill the bars will be counterintuitive, like exercise, or learning a new skill. Though it needn't be those specifically.

And to make it harder, there is a diminishing return even on things that work, so you have to be sure to add variety, just a little, to keep the bars going up.

The most important thing, is you need to genuinely want what's best for yourself. Not what's most comfortable, but what's best. There is no answer anyone can give you to what that best something is, you have to answer that for yourself.

And if all of this seems like stupid bullshit to you, well this is just my own opinion, to which I make no claim has it's origin in the mind of greatness.