this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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I'm going out on what is kind of sort of a date but I don't know what I'm doing. Would appreciate some thoughts lol (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/general@lemmy.world
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Context: I'm in my early 30s. I've only been on a date like once in my life a decade ago and it was awkward and I hated it. The guy was nice but I didn't know what I was doing and then he wanted to kiss and I didn't (and still don't) know how to do that either and I found it unpleasant.

I do not have the capacity for attraction like 99% of the world does, so I figured it meant that I cannot date anyone since I am incompatible with the world. I have always been that way and it was very confusing growing up. It's ok for the most part but it can get a bit lonely.

I also have intense social anxiety. My only friends are online and one coworker.

Well I will be visiting with a stranger who I am closer on the same page with in terms of them not instantaneously expecting sex. But I am panicking a little bit still and still don't know what to do about the attractiveness thing. I've not done anything like this before.

We're going to a nature trail. Tbh I wish it was an environment where I could have a drink because that helps me relax, but it doens't really make sense in this context lol.

I guess I don't know what kind of responses I'm looking for but idk help lol

Thanks

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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Thank you guys! I will likely be deleting this post soon (although I know it will likely be eternally on the fediverse).

I had a nice time. We just talked and walked and it was pretty chill. I don't really know if I had to label the experience as a "date" or anything, but nothing too crazy happened haha. Found out he'll be moving across the country in a few months (which I already kind of knew by this just confirmed it). That's ok! Nothing wrong with just meeting a new human and hanging out for a bit. We're gonna try to do something again before he moves away I think!

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Good dates are easy going like that. I'm glad you had a good time. Best of luck figuring things out. And while it is easier said than done, try not to overthink things. Just let it be friends for now and eventually become something more if you both want it to. For now it's personal time with a good friend. Communication is key, always communicate with them and there will never be any ambiguity. 😊