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I'm going out on what is kind of sort of a date but I don't know what I'm doing. Would appreciate some thoughts lol (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/general@lemmy.world

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Context: I'm in my early 30s. I've only been on a date like once in my life a decade ago and it was awkward and I hated it. The guy was nice but I didn't know what I was doing and then he wanted to kiss and I didn't (and still don't) know how to do that either and I found it unpleasant.

I do not have the capacity for attraction like 99% of the world does, so I figured it meant that I cannot date anyone since I am incompatible with the world. I have always been that way and it was very confusing growing up. It's ok for the most part but it can get a bit lonely.

I also have intense social anxiety. My only friends are online and one coworker.

Well I will be visiting with a stranger who I am closer on the same page with in terms of them not instantaneously expecting sex. But I am panicking a little bit still and still don't know what to do about the attractiveness thing. I've not done anything like this before.

We're going to a nature trail. Tbh I wish it was an environment where I could have a drink because that helps me relax, but it doens't really make sense in this context lol.

I guess I don't know what kind of responses I'm looking for but idk help lol

Thanks

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[–] BluuTato@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago

Hi! I have social anxiety too. Had it my whole life in one form or another.

I think it’s cool you’re going on a “sort of” date. For me, doing things out of the comfort zone can be hard. What are your hopes for the date - like are you wanting to form a friendship? Looking to gain dating experience? Or maybe looking for a partner? If you were my friend, I’d probably say that you don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with, even of it feels like you “should” want to. Walking on a nature trail sounds like a good time. I hope you have fun!