"Out of my league" also removes the other person's agency. Maybe they really like people who look like you, despite what popular culture implies. By approaching someone with that attitude you've already made their decision for them, which isn't fair.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Reminds me of an old David cross bit about an NYC garbage man that hits on every woman he sees while on the job, because surely someone out there wants to fuck on a pile of trash.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You would be surprised... Like 15 years ago a guy entered the U-Bahn ( subway in Germany ) where i was in, sat beside me and was like, talking a lot and i was pretty relaxed and got into the conversation. Turned out, he was Brazilian ( i grew up in Brazil) and we actually had a nice conversation.

But like after 10 minutes he stood up and said "time to get to know some girls, bye - see ya". A lean guy, tall, wicked, but in a one piece luffy kind of way. He looked around and went straight to a woman, sat beside her and guess what. They were immediately in a deep conversation, but she got out just two stations later, but not without exchanging numbers.

A moment later he was already talking to another woman and she was visibly positively engaged in a conversation.

I was dying inside, when he went to the first woman. Then I was intrigued and this made me think a lot. For example, this is normal behavior in Brazil ( still, not that bluntly ), but here in Germany not. People are usually very reserved, keep for themselves. This guy, talking, very broken English, doesn't even know that any kind of other leagues exist. He exists in a language overriding, extra smooth king of league.

Here's the thing, i admit that my first thought was: he went ti the most"out of his league" woman. I was sure this was gonna be a

"Bitte, lassen Sie mich in Ruhe!"

moment or that she would just change seats, without engaging at all.

I met him a few times after that, he was like, at all parties for the next few months, always talking to everyone and making lots of friends.

I was 22 and this encounter changed some of my views for the better. I learned that you should not judge or assume anything, about anyone, just by their looks.

There are people that are not open to this kind of direct talking, even more so in the subway and I'm sure people told him off. I certainly am not looking for new friendships, when i commute and would rather be left alone. Ah yes, that happened at 7:30 in the morning, on my way to work, of all times and places.

Only the Spanish inquisition storming in, would have topped the unexpected-ness.

[–] r_ffer23@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Duuude, that happened to me. I felt so stupid when she told me that back then, I only had to try and we would be together. :(