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What did you do to survive the night of/after a breakup? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by voidhearts@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 6) just told me he’s started seeing someone else. No discussion. Just ghosted me for a week and hit me with this news. Thought he was my soulmate, lmao. I feel like someone just ripped out my insides. Just turned 31 this year, this shit is not any easier than when I was a teenager.

How did you make it through that first night? The second? The third? Is it really just time? I feel like my body is too old to survive another heartbreak.

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[–] JK1348@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

CW: self harm, addiction, SA . . . . .

Ok I'm going to tell you what not to do based on my huge errors

I was dumped by my ex of 6 years on our anniversary and she ran off with someone else. I deserved it, I was an excessive alcoholic coke dealing addict.

Now when I was dumped I knew it was well deserved given what I mentioned. And well I went on a bender, i got black out drunk constantly including blowing massive amounts of coke, real Scarface moment. And well eventually that same week, i was roofied and sexually assaulted by a white woman.

I was going to off myself after that, by driving off a cliff. but I called a suicide hotline and was referred to therapy which I'm still doing today. That was 2018. I was 27 then.

I've recovered a lot, I quit coke later that year, gave up that hustle. And today I've turned most of my life around, I quit drinking alcohol last year.

If I could do it again I would tell myself to sit and process with the emotions of that bombshell that being dumped was... Unfortunately I ran to places to numb myself more and got very hurt. No one deserves to be sexually assaulted, but it's something I had to really process, because if I had handled things better I wouldn't have gone to a bar... I would have gone straight to therapy. So if you have the means I highly recommend it. I'm 31 now, live on my own and do my best to constantly work on myself mentally, if it wasn't for therapy I would have never been aware of my ADHD diagnosis a year into the therapy sessions.

If you need advice I know what it's like to go through this stuff at our age, my DMs are open for you.

I believe in soul mates I'm a spiritual person, but each day you hang in there I promise you get stronger just don't dive into any hedonistic &/or escapist behavior. Trust me

Edit: Working out is also I started doing immediately, it helps clear the mind.