this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024
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Unusual overall? A lot, since she's a chicken, and they're batshit crazy.
But unusual for a chicken would have to be her habit of cuddling. She doesn't do it often, but when she wants to cuddle she cuddles the hell out of you she pecks my arm until I wrap it around her, then borrows her beak into the crook of my elbow then starts her little content chuckle/purr.
After that, there are only two rules: no touch, only cuddle. And no moving, only cuddle.
Anything else is met with an indignant rage that can't even be matched by a church lady at a strip club getting teabagged. There will be squawking, and you will obey, or suffer the Wrath of Marans (which rhymes with Khan, and the s is silent because it's french).
The Wrath of Marans is mostly just more squawking, followed by angry stomping. But it's terrifying if you squint really hard. Okay, if you squint real hard and pretend you've been shrunk to the size of a particularly small mouse.
The Wrath of Marans can also be doled out for other crimes such as; not surrendering the biscuit, not surrendering the peanuts, not surrendering the completely inedible piece of aluminum foil in your hand, or the absolute worst crime of all; Picking The Chicken Goddess Up to Prevent Her Pecking Things That Will Hurt Her. Which can be elevated to all caps as needed. Which is just the same thing with extra squawking and some growls.
You pull the string, the pointer spins and lands on: The Chicken says BAAAAAWWWWWWK! I WILL EAT YOU, PITIFUL HUMAN!
Jesus. Did Terry Pratchett fake his death and are you him?
Well written. That made me happy. Also your chicken sounds adorable.
Nobody has ever given me a compliment that wonderful. Thank you very much :)