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What did you do to survive the night of/after a breakup? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by voidhearts@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 6) just told me he’s started seeing someone else. No discussion. Just ghosted me for a week and hit me with this news. Thought he was my soulmate, lmao. I feel like someone just ripped out my insides. Just turned 31 this year, this shit is not any easier than when I was a teenager.

How did you make it through that first night? The second? The third? Is it really just time? I feel like my body is too old to survive another heartbreak.

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[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You feel vulnerable and it's okay. Sounds like you need to realize you dodged a bullet.

About the question, remember that you are you and the only things that you need to keep going is to breath, to drink water, to eat and to keep yourself healthy. Everything else are probably ideas in your head that can change at any time. If you are struggling, remember to breath deeply. It will be okay.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like I'm unlovable and will be alone for the rest of my life, and I want to die.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I don't know. When someone thinks they're unlovable I can only imagine sociopathic killers, pedophiles, pro-slavists and that caliber of beings. If you are in the clear, if you are a regular guy with some kinks, you are probably too wrapped in your own head thinking that you are unlovable or will be alone for the rest of your life.

I'd say that even wanting to die during some periods of life is normal. But if these periods are too often and or too long, you need to find a therapist or a psychiatrist that really works for you. Depression is a terrible illness that could be maintaining people far from you or viceversa. I'm not saying this to hurt or to overwhelm you, but I met my wife just after she started seeing a psychiatrist and, the first time she went depressed there was a period when I just couldn't bring myself home. Not that she's the easiest personality even when she's fine, but I do love her, and I'm sure she struggles to love me back sometimes.