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What did you do to survive the night of/after a breakup? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by voidhearts@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 6) just told me he’s started seeing someone else. No discussion. Just ghosted me for a week and hit me with this news. Thought he was my soulmate, lmao. I feel like someone just ripped out my insides. Just turned 31 this year, this shit is not any easier than when I was a teenager.

How did you make it through that first night? The second? The third? Is it really just time? I feel like my body is too old to survive another heartbreak.

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[–] Moonguide@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago

The night of the breakup I went to my best bud's house and talked and smoked for hours. After that, I worked on myself, started reading again, going to the gym again and finally got myself checked out by a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I had been putting all of that off for a long time and if there was ever a more cliche time to start, it was then.

Been about 2 years, half of what I was with her, and I still sometimes wish I had someone like her. I miss the connection I had with her. We went through a lot and at the time I thought I'd marry the girl. Then covid happened, some family tragedies, and suddenly our vibe was off. Sucks, but it woulda sucked more if it happened years later in life.

It was easier for me than it was for her, though. I've got issues regarding failure (not sure how else to word it). Whenever something might go tits up, I emotionally distance immediately. Job opportunities, dying pets, relationships, same defensive mechanism. Causes more trouble than it avoids, honestly, because I never know when to trust a gut feeling, or to stop being like this.

I still don't feel 100%, but I wasn't 100% when we broke up. Not looking for anything new, or to start up anything old again either.