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I went through this with a friend of 20+ years. It is pretty much one of the worst things that have ever happened to me.
Same but for my mom
I'm so sorry. I hope they find their way back to you.
Went through something broadly similar a few years ago. It’s kinda confidence-shattering, tbh. I had thought I was a pretty deft judge of character up to that point. Years after the fallout, I’ve come to realize that while I am actually still probably a better than average judge of character, that doesn’t really apply to psychopaths that actively hide their true nature as a habit and rule. But the whole clusterfuck and how much I missed the signs still fucks with my head sometimes even today.
I've given up thinking I'm a good judge of character completely. You can't do much better than judging people by the company they keep, anyway. Sometimes people of quality can be alone, but utter bastards never are.
But I'll be damned if I'm not still good at standing up to my friends. After I failed to make them see reason for long enough to be sure it was permanent... I cut them off 4 years ago and haven't said a word to them since, even when they literally stalked me.
If you haven't got integrity, you don't really have anything, do you?
Judging character and identifying psychopaths are two wildly different skill sets, though arguably one depends on the other.
I'm slowly getting better (more experienced) at identifying psychopaths and narcissists, but holy shit it can be difficult.