this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
336 points (96.7% liked)

Asklemmy

43962 readers
1620 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Cloak@lemmy.ml
mekhos@lemmy.ml
tmpod@lemmy.pt
14specks@lemmy.ml
336
My wife, newly hired, was asked to un-blur her camera during a routine meeting to confirm her I9 information. This seems like a violation to me? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by shalafi@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
124 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

She had interviewed and met both remotely and in person, this guy was merely an HR drone confirming her documentation. I was a little bent when she told me he had asked her to remove her blur filter "to have a look at her working environment, make sure it's not cluttered" (something along those lines). No one else at this company requested such. Was he way out of line?

I should note, this is my PC in our living room and not where she will be working from. And this guy wants a look around our home?! Told my wife to bring this up once she's settled in, ask HR if this is policy. She started today!

She thinks it's a racism thing. I'm not so sure, but I don't have any other explanation.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] nudnyekscentryk@szmer.info 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But why racism is particular? Sure I see how she has been "othered" by the interviewer, but why racism?

[โ€“] Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I have a birthmark that reads 'VAGINA' on my face.
Some people treat me differently from the moment I meet them.
I say, "I think that those people are reacting to my birthmark."

ย 

You ask: "Why assume they react to your VAGINA birthmark in particular?"

  1. The VAGINA birthmark is visible.
  2. People have made fun of me for having it before.
  3. I can see facial expressions when people perceive it, and notice features of judgemental reaction in their speech and behaviour after.

ย 

Now, apply this to OP's wife. OP says this about her:

If I hadn't seen the blatant discrimination she's faced job hunting, I'd be more skeptical. She's Filipino, but that's "Mexican" to many. When I say blatant, I mean to say heads would roll if we had some of this on camera. She's mostly unhurt by these things, just figures that's the way of the world. But damn. One lady asked if she was Asian and was visibly appalled. Another said she would have to attend their church, and barely stopped short of asking her to renounce Catholicism. There's much more I'm not remembering ATM.

ย 

I'm heavily autistic. I've figured this all out logically, as a person who has experience discrimination myself. It wasn't easy, because I don't grasp social cues natively. I thought I'd been doing something wrong for a long long time when people initially appraised me as 'other', but it turned out they were just being judgement assholes. If you're not heavily autistic, I believe it should be easier for you to figure all this out, right?