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this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2024
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Secret? I don't even know if I am neurodivergent, I am getting tested to figure it out, I have taken a dozen online tests of various efficacy and they all come up "borderline" so I am getting a professional diagnosis. It may also be a very strong case of CPTSD mimicking the effects of autism and/or ADHD.
Otherwise, I have been struggling my whole life with things that should be a lot easier for me, and if I DID have a secret, all my best successes and largest achievements have been a result of pushing myself out of my comfort zone and pushing into more challenges, not listening to my reasoning because my reasoning is flawed, our brains just tell stories to explain how we feel and those stories don't necessarily have to make sense, it's just stories to make you feel like the world makes sense. It doesn't.
Understanding nuance of people's feelings and emotions was always hard for me, so I pushed myself to lead more, to be a team leader or a project leader, and put an emphasis on instead of retreating from giving everyone personal attention, I leaned in harder always and have always made a policy to listen and genuinely be compassionate to others and exercise empathy.
I also pushed myself to do more public speaking and leading lectures, MC'ing social events, and giving speeches when appropriate.
In my last job I was afraid of failure because I have been laid off so many times in the past, so I paid careful attention to that worry about messing up, and every time I had that worry I did the exact opposite of what my gut was telling me. I got laid off from that job as well anyway, because that's how business is now, but not before becoming a general manager and well-liked by hundreds of people.
The number of times I've put myself in trouble by resisting the "Safe" route is not insignificant, but each of those times has been easily navigated and more than rewarded by the successes which were a result of speaking up when I would normally keep quiet.
So your secret should be to value yourself. Even if you don't feel it, act like it. Pretend you are valuable and important and people will treat you like you're valuable and important.
This is a great comment but I think by "secret" they meant in terms of getting an appointment for a diagnosis, since they've been unsuccessfully trying to get one for a while.
Gotcha, remains to be seen... doctor hasn't been very affirmative with me about what exactly we're doing next week, I assumed from his language it would be a diagnosis/test but they say frequently it's all "more complicated" than we tend to think, so the reason some people might have a hard time getting a diagnosis is because particularly as you get older a lot of conditions and symptoms kind of blend together and make certainty much, much harder, and it is sometimes more efficient to just focus on managing the symptoms no matter what the underlying cause may be.
I guess I'll find out and try to update others as I go through the process.