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To be fair Democrats never called rural people deplorables or racists. That was attributed to Trump's bedfellows. Rural America just bought that it was aimed towards them wholesale.
A lot of propaganda aimed at conservatives paints liberals as bad, so it is natural to assume that the reverse may be true. Also, liberals often talk in an extremely high-handed manner, see e.g. Bill Maher. Also, the vast majority of Obama's economic stimulus dollars went towards cities rather than farmers. The list goes on and on.
It REALLY didn't help when McCain picked Sarah Palin to be his running mate - she made fun of the liberals ruthlessly, and was made fun of by them in turn, and also the media including comedy shows. So the "stupid conservatives" meme... regardless of having some actual basis in fact, is something that they do not enjoy being portrayed as. I know, I know, best not to dish it out if you cannot take it in return but... either way, there it is, a fact that now needs to be worked around. Conservatives are killing people including women and children... but you can't SAY that, without them getting mad.
So how should this be handled when a group cannot be criticized without getting their feefees hurt but left to their own devices will actively and antagonistically hurt everyone including themselves?
I don't actually think that there is a solution possible. I think that either we will come to, if not an actual Civil War, then at least a constitutional crisis of some kind. Or at least one side will just sort of give up on the other entirely and move on. Case in point: the USA used to have the nationwide Roe v. Wade, whereas now it is left up to each state to decide. Liberal states might want to lock in protection for abortion now while they can, although even that much may not prevent encroachment if Trump wins the next election, picks another Supreme Court Justice, and shifts the entry country even further Rightward.
Never forget - and this is something that I think that conservatives actually do better than liberals: there is no "should" in politics, there is only what you can make happen. As my actual hero Jon Stewart once said: "liberal media aims to be correct, while conservative media aims to be effective". As you pointed out, how do you even begin to fight against that, especially if we choose to remain ineffective - e.g. how many liberals have already stated that they will under no circumstances vote for Biden in the next election, b/c of Gaza. Okay sure, there's time, so I am supposed to just "trust the system"? Just like we did in 2015?
To be clear, I was not saying that liberals should just let conservatives have their way. But any problem begins with a diagnosis - and realizing that the "other side" is sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming "naw naw I can't hear you" at the top of their lungs means that merely talking is not likely to do much. e.g. we could point out Trump's literal and actual dictatorial verbage... which somehow many conservatives still claim to have never heard? (or perhaps do not believe... or something, I dunno) Anyway, I am saying that liberals would benefit from acceptance of the situation as it is, rather than as someone perhaps wishes that it might be.