this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
193 points (78.0% liked)

Asklemmy

43939 readers
673 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] maxprime@lemmy.ml 122 points 8 months ago (5 children)

A lot of people use “folks” for plural.

I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.

“Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.

[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 29 points 8 months ago

I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number "guy".

"And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!"

[–] unfnknblvbl@beehaw.org 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I really, really wish we could degender "guy" and "guys". I know plenty of people of all genders that use the words in general to describe people, objects, concepts, everything. The only holdouts are people that insist on it specifically meaning males. Ironically, these people are often the hardcore feminists.

If other English words can change their meanings and be claimed/reclaimed by certain groups, why can't others?

Take guy! Use it to describe whatever you want! Free it of its historically phallic shackles!

[–] frefi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, I agree with you gal, while we're at it I wish we could degender "gal", "chick", and "doll" too. Equality for all!

[–] ShepherdPie@midwest.social -4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

This sounds not to dissimilar to those who argued that legalizing gay marriage would lead to people marrying horses or their cars.

[–] frefi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 8 months ago

How's that? I'm not arguing against anything, I said I want more words to be disgendered

How come people seem to only want words that were originally masculine coded words to be disgendered, but don't want that for words that are originally feminine coded?

[–] jabib@beehaw.org 3 points 8 months ago

My car married the horse down the road last year

[–] ready_for_qa@programming.dev 3 points 8 months ago

Guy was originally gender neutral as it was used to call someone stupidly bold (iirc). The term was most often used toward a single gender that was known for being stupidly bold and became synonymous with that gender. That's how it became gendered.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

I'm a cis woman in IT, I'm guy, dude, man, bro... I don't really care. You can change to make a specific person feel more confortable but most woman don't care to be dude or guy

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Bud is very rarely used for women (or at least for me), but it is one of my favourite things to hear tbh

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world -1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (4 children)

"Guys" is ungendered.

Reconsider whether it's worth being friends with people that insist on fighting over the term "guys".

And if you are surrounded by a lot of particularly sensitive people, just call them "friend" or "friends". It works for people you both like and dislike. Glorious.

[–] maxprime@lemmy.ml 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Sure, but as a professional (teacher) I’m not willing to put my career on the line by challenging a sensitive parent. A few years ago we were told not to use that word, and when it comes to things like that, I do as I’m told.

[–] jumjummy@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago

“Listen up you little shits”. Perfectly non-gendered!

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world -2 points 8 months ago

That makes sense.

Teachers have to do a lot of stupid shit these days.

[–] dead@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 months ago

Aw yeahhhh, everyone's into guys 🫦

(well, except aro/ace people maybe)

[–] GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Modifying my language choices is literally the least I can do to make people feel more included, so anyone who can't fathom doing that is for sure, not worthy of being a friend.

[–] mostNONheinous@lemmy.world -4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

If you are in the Midwest, Guys is absolutely gender neutral.

Edit: downvote me all you want guys, it won’t change the truth.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago

Meh, people who want to fight over the term 'guys' are in the minority.

They can probably just be ignored.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world -3 points 8 months ago