this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024
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Not bad. A response like this and I would have treated you with respect from the start. The way I've done throughout these "4 hours" in other threads. That switch isn't hard to flip, especially when I'm not as out of control as I pretend to be.
But I've been keeping up with this thread since last night, sleeping, going to work, cooking... I ran a discussion thread on !dungeonmeshi@ani.social and much more.
This stuff doesn't bleed for me. I don't get pissed from a comment online then tear into a friend on discord. I don't have trouble keeping separate things separate.
My very source of frustration is the lack of the kind of consideration you are showing now, the kind every person on earth should be capable of. My edits are screams into a pillow, because the only people who see them are the ones who either come back, or showed up after the people I made those edits in response to.
The people who came across my edits and then decide "yeah, I'll pile on" may not be the same people that sparked my frustration, but they are the very same kind that cause it.
Face to face, we don't deal with angry people the way we do online. In person we react with caution and empathy. Is that what happened here?
Yes, I played into the unfortunate reality of how this works online for my own satisfaction...
But your appeal for me to remember that there are people on the other side, is redundant.
I didn't forget that. I explicitly took aim at the type of person that does, and I don't think I missed.
Look at it like this.
No one needed to take my edits seriously, or personally. I made them for me, for personal catharsis, to express something normally bottled up.
But a lot of people saw them and thought, "lol a lunatic, let's poke at it". I knew that would happen, but it wasn't the point, and I will never feel remorse for poking back when it did.
It's really not that complicated.
I would urge you to refrain from trying to diagnose people over social media. You don't have anything close to the full context of someone's entire life. What actual problems they are dealing with, what coping mechanisms they've put together, or how effective they are.
What if someone already has a therapist? What if you contradict that therapist? Yes, sometimes that's necessary, but you better be damn sure about it, then.
You could seriously interfere with someone's care by commenting on this stuff like this.
The only thing you can legitimately be an authority on is how my actions affected you. If you are looking to aid in someone's self-improvement, sharing that is far more effective than displaying concern for their health, or commenting on care they might already be receiving.
You cannot even begin to claim to know to how my actions affect me.
The point is that there's a difference in the environment.
Would you go "holy hell, you have a problem" when someone is high strung, and expect it to go down well in person?
Would you suggest to someone that they have a problem to the point of needing professional care, when they lose their cool for the first time in over a year? And that one outburst is your entire context?
There is literally nothing unusual about getting angry.
The only abnormal factor here is how people online react to someone when that happens, and dare to express it.
How is encouraging you to share how the behaviour of others affects you, an argument against pointing out bad behaviour?
What I said was, is that you don't get to tell others how their behaviour affects them, only how it affects you.
"That makes me feel bad" instead of "That can't be making you feel good". The first one you can know is true, on the second, you are always guessing.