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how can I develop a thick skin? (feddit.de)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by lompedtfre@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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today was supposed to be my first day of therapy and the therapist didn't show up. I'm pissed off. I wasted 2 hours for nothing.

I've sent her a polite message, asking if she's sick and hoping she is well, but in reality I wanted to yell at her. However, if I yell at her, chances are she won't treat me.

Before you suggest to find another therapist, finding a shrink where I live is very difficult and the other ones I contacted have either ignored me or are overbooked. I need therapy and it bothers me to be so dependent on one person.

For those of you who have experienced something similar, how doesn't it bother you?

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[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago

I don't think of it as developing a thicker skin, but after some weeks of practising metta meditation, I noticed that I found it easier not to take personally the actions of others. This is also known as loving-kindness meditation. It sounds very strange and yet it seems to help.

I used to think similarly and wonder how not to let these things bother me. Then that changed to letting them bother me, but for shorter periods of time. Now I tend to think of it as letting them bother me, but then not feeling bad about letting them bother me, which allows me to let go of those feelings sooner.

It's not a quick fix, but it might help you very much over the rest of your life. Even basic mindfulness meditation, such as breath meditation, might suffice to start.

Good luck.