Malicious Compliance

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/MorvonJellyBean on 2024-11-02 13:44:11+00:00.

On mobile so standard apologies for formatting and English being my first language.

Tdlr; New boss insists I follow every company policy to the letter, so I do—and bring the entire office to a grinding halt.

A few years back, I worked in a corporate office where things ran pretty smoothly… until our new boss, Mr. Micromanage (Mr. M), arrived. Mr. M was obsessed with one thing: following company policies. He didn’t care if policies were outdated, inefficient, or outright absurd—if the rule existed, you had to follow it perfectly. And he loved catching people not complying.

One Monday morning, he called a meeting to lecture us on “policy adherence.” He ended his speech with, “If it’s in the manual, you follow it. No exceptions.” I’m not a fan of being micromanaged, but hey, rules are rules, right?

I knew that our company’s policy manual hadn’t been updated in years, and some policies were… questionable. So, I decided to have a little fun.

One of the most outdated rules was about how to handle printed documents. According to this gem, any printed company document—no matter how minor—needed to be reviewed and stamped by our “Document Compliance Officer” before being distributed. Oh, and guess what? That position had been eliminated in a round of budget cuts two years ago. But hey, Mr. M said no exceptions.

The next day, I printed out a standard quarterly report that everyone in the office needed. When people asked for it, I told them, “Sorry, I can’t distribute it until it’s been reviewed and stamped.” I sent an email to Mr. M asking where I could find the nonexistent Document Compliance Officer. He came storming over to my desk, confused.

Mr. M: “Just send out the report!” Me: “I’d love to, but as per company policy, it needs to be reviewed and stamped first. Where should I send it?” Mr. M: Pauses and glares “Just… follow the policy.”

I nodded enthusiastically and let it be. Word spread quickly, and soon everyone in the office was “complying” with every arcane policy in the manual.

Karen from HR? She started enforcing the dress code policy that required all employees to wear “business formal attire” at all times. Suddenly, everyone was showing up in suits and ties, and people in accounting were running spreadsheets in cocktail dresses.

Jake from Marketing? He made sure to send a request to Mr. Micromanage every time he needed to make a 10-cent photocopy, as per the ancient policy that “all expenditures, no matter how minor, must be approved by management.”

By the end of the week, the entire office was a disaster. People were wasting time and resources, projects were delayed, and everyone was cranky from wearing stiff, formal clothes. Mr. M tried to reprimand us, but we just kept saying, “Sorry, sir. Just following the policies, like you said!”

It only took one week of chaos for Mr. M to call another meeting, where he begrudgingly told us to “use common sense” instead of following every single policy. He even promised to update the manual.

And that, my friends, is how our office turned into a temporary circus of hilarious compliance—until our boss finally learned that some rules are meant to be bent.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/JoWhee on 2024-11-02 10:42:52+00:00.

Another post reminded me of this gem.

My old company manager would always ask for a sick note from your doctor.

It’s about $50 from my GP. I was at his office when my boss “Mary” called me to make absolutely sure I had a sick note. I had a two company credit cards one for internal use (tools etc.) and one for external use (billed to clients). Neither would work at my doctors office. I called Mary back:

Me: my company credit cards aren’t working

Mary: use your own and file an expense report

Me: no I’m not here to lend money to a multi million dollar company.

Mary: fine use mine.

Medical secretary: we can’t take credit cards over the phone.

Mary: them you won’t be paid for today.

Me: send that by email right away please.

Mary: sends it.

Me: replies to email I’ll need a union day to file a grievance as you refusing to pay me is against our collective agreement. There is NOTHING in our collective agreement stating that I need a note for one day, it's for three consecutive days. I’ll also need a second union rep as I can’t represent myself.

Union days for grievance can’t be refused for any reason unless there’s a catastrophic event.

Mary: (calls me back) fine I’ll pay you.

Me: no, the violation has already occurred and the grievance demand filed, we are proceeding with this.

Mary: but

Me: my union rep will be in touch.

For 8 hours pay, and want of a sick note

Me plus other union rep 4 hours to prepare plus 2 hours travel each. 12 hours unpaid. 4 hours each to present the grievance. Grievance was won at the first stage. So I got paid my 8 hours, but they company had to pay 20 man hours out of pocket (unbillable to client) because Mary was enforcing her own rules outside the collective agreement, as a "management right".

I was maliciously complying with our grievance process which I brought up during the presentation.

Bonus content: Mary stated that what was written in the collective agreement was open to interpretation and she was correct and I was wrong. I asked her to flip to the last page of the PDF, she did.

Me: who had signed the contract?

Mary: VP of HR, National Union Rep, VP operations, Matthew, and... YOU the VP of your union accreditation

Me: so what you're saying is you, who wasn't at all present during the negotiations knows more about the contract I've negotiated for the last three renewals?

Mary: this meeting is over I'll have my answer emailed to you within 7 days.

Me: you have 3 business days as per our collective agreement which you know so well, I'd hate to file yet another grievance for non compliance.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/I_SawTheSine on 2024-11-02 04:07:47+00:00.

A few months ago I booked a return ticket to a nearby town over a busy holiday weekend. I wanted to do a little cycling over the weekend so I phoned the bus company before the day of departure to check if I could take a bicycle with me. They confirmed that I could so long as I arrived at the bus station half an hour early.

On the trip down they loaded my bicycle into the baggage hold, even opening up a special side hatch to make it easier to get it in. So I enjoyed a few bike rides while I was down there.

Come the day of my return and it's belting rain. I get to the bus station half an hour early but sopping wet. Considerate as I am, I purchase some paper towels to wipe down my bike so it won't dampen anyone else's luggage.

Then the bus arrives. I go straight over to the baggage loading area and ask the guy if I can put my bike in. He replies, "No." Do I need to wait? No, he's just not going to let my bike on. At all.

So I spend a quarter of an hour arguing with the guy, as the clock ticks towards departure time. I tell him the bus company has already confirmed I could bring my bike, but that does not move him. He keeps telling me there's no space in the hold, even though I can see there's space in the hold.

Now this is a Sunday and I have work the next day. And it's the end of a holiday weekend so I might not be able to get a seat on another bus, even if they refund me my money. And nobody's talking about a refund.

Finally, departure time has arrived. I yell out, "Well, head office said I could take it on the bus, so I'm taking it on the bus."

And I hoick my bicycle in the air and step up into the passenger section of the bus and start making my way to my seat. Now, my seat was booked for the upper deck, so I also have to hoick my bike up the narrow spiral staircase to the upper deck, which I do.

My bicycle is XL size so, all things considered, I'm astonished how limited and shallow the scratches were that I left on the plastic finishes of the spiral staircase as I went up.

Amazingly, no-one made any move to stop me, and the passengers on the upper deck all came onto my side, helping me to secure the bicycle and making no complaint about having to squeeze past it, even though it almost entirely blocked the corridor.

Every now and then the conductor would come up to check our tickets, see the bicycle blocking the way, and turn away defeated. Every time he did so, I made sure to say loudly to my fellow passengers, "I dunno, to me it would have made more sense to put it in the hold, but it's their bus, they make the rules." And the other passengers would agree with me.

The bike and I got home safely.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/happyscatteredreader on 2024-11-01 16:22:23+00:00.

This is one going back a few years but it's one that made me chuckle when I remembered it.

As we live in a busy estate, we are in a prime position for door to door callers. Usually they were fine, polite and if I was happy to listen to their pitch then great and if not, they were pretty good about hearing "no" and leaving me be.

In our house, all the utility bills are in my name because I am the financial person in the house hold and by mutual agreement, the one who knows how many beans make five when it comes to deals and offers. Therefore, I decide our provider each year and negotiate the best offers. I know the exact date we come out if contract and am generally organised in swapping suppliers. Sometimes I do this with the D2D salesperson and other times online or via phone.

It just so happened one year that we had a D2D salesperson knock in for a utility that was pretty close to its contract end date. He immediately started his pitch with "Good afternoon, is the Man of the House there?" Now, straight away that rubbed me up the wrong way. I answered no and he proceeded to ask me when he would be home. I mentioned that he was at work but he was welcome to call back after 5pm when "The Man of the House" would be home. The salesperson wrote this down in his book nodded at me and left.

Sure enough, he called back after 5pm and spoke to the very irritated Man of the House who asked the salesperson why he didn't speak to me about all this. The salesperson back pedaled so quickly and asked if I was there. Sadly, I was out and wouldn't be back until late but he was welcome to call over again tomorrow and see if I would speak to him.

As it so happens, I did speak to him the next morning. With a beaming smile and a smug of tea in my hand, I thanked him for reminding me to check my offers and I haf switched online to his company a couple of hours before he arrived. Then I waved him a cheery goodbye.

I believe that would have cost him two sales, as I switched gas and electricity.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Bored_Eastly on 2024-10-31 22:24:55+00:00.

This was a few years back. After over a decade of doing a complex job, above average - getting many compliments/letters of thanks. My new boss was irritated at me interrupting.

My role was everything the technical people didn't do (trash duty/phones/conference room/ calendars/contracts/finance/training/facilities/purchasing/equipment .... ETC). It was realistic to say that a couple times a day some wildfires (often technical work stoppages) needed the boss' input. This, even after I headed off many problems before they reached his attention.

About a couple weeks in, he told me that under no circumstance was I to interrupt any conversations he was in and like a good little boot licker, the second in charge added that he too was tired of my interruptions too and needed to stop.

As karma would have it, not even a day later, both of them were deep into a conversation about baseball (absolutely nothing to do with work and normally I would have interrupted). They both saw me multiple times and didn't ask what I needed. I waited patiently with pleading eyes, while they stretched out their conversation. After a few minutes, I started shifting foot to foot (probably looked like I needed to use the bathroom) and yet they didn't stop.

FINALLY, when they soaked up all the fun they could and ran out of baseballs things to say - the boss in a very snarky tone asks if there is something I needed him for.

"Yes, sir! Your boss's boss (Mr. Nameless Here) is waiting on the phone (I could see the blinking phone line from where I was standing, and he was indeed still waiting) and he needs to speak to you right now".

Not one smirk or iota of disrespect from me but I did leave to use the bathroom even though I didn't need it. *Policy cancelled right after that call*. LOL

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/GalwayGuy24 on 2024-10-31 20:18:17+00:00.

Years ago, I moved into a new apartment while studying abroad. The landlord was... well, let’s just say he was a real shark. The guy had a dozen properties rented out to students and a reputation for squeezing every last penny out of his tenants. By coincidence I ended up dating a fellow student who happened to rent from him in the next building over, and who moved out six months in, so I had advance warning of what to expect on move-out day.

When she moved out, she had broken a single plate and lost a fork, so somehow got charged for an entire new matching set of plates and cutlery. She even replaced the plate and fork herself, but that wasn’t good enough for Mr. Sharklord. No, he insisted on billing her for a full “brand new set”. Of course, she learned later from her ex-flatmate that he only replaced the missing items and pocketed the difference! Imagine the profit accumulating over the years over a dozen apartments, when for every student you charge the price of a new set, but actually only buy one replacement set for one fork here, one glass there, pocketing the difference. Not just shady, but utterly petty.

Now, when myself and my best friend had moved in, Landlord proudly tells us about the “brand new mattresses” in our rooms. A year later, when my friend was moving out, we did a massive deep clean, left the place sparkling, and made sure to replace anything missing. But of course, during the inspection, the landlord “found” issues. Surprise, surprise: he deducted and withheld my friend's entire deposit, mostly on the basis of the mattress being (slightly) stained and needing replacement.

My friend was understandably fuming. But then we had a thought. If he was charging us for a “new” mattress, then my friend had technically just paid for this one... so, technically, it was his! And, equally technically, it just wouldn't be considerate to leave personal belongings cluttering up the Landlord's apartment after he moved out, would it? Moving out means moving out...

He couldn’t take the mattress on the plane, obviously, so we hauled it down to a nearby park, where some local homeless people hung out, and “donated” it. Fast forward a few days: I’m still in the apartment and about to move out shortly, my friend’s already gone, and I hear the landlord arrive to show the room to a new tenant. I hear the bedroom door and then... Rage! “Where the f*** is the mattress? I have to F****** buy a new one!?!”

I almost lost it right there. But I held my composure, played dumb, and listening to him fume.

And a few days later, when it was my turn to leave? Oh, I knew I was getting nothing back from my deposit. And I too was going to take ALL of my personal belongings with me. So I took everything I had “paid” for - the mattress, plates, cutlery, glasses, even the lightbulbs. The friendly neighborhood hobos made out like kings.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/PureHeart7915 on 2024-10-31 11:47:57+00:00.

Just read a post about sick leave policy backfiring and wanted to post my own story about it.

Old work friend, we will call him “Jessie” is a retired US marine. Guamanian, chill as hell, and unfuckwithable. He was the coolest guys you’d ever meet, personable and worked hard. Can’t say enough good things about him.

Our supervisor was brand new, and one of these perpetual “yes men”. Anything the middle and upper management mentioned even in passing was holy gospel for this guy. I tell you his lips were brown, he did everything in his power to kiss the starfish. Regardless of the impact on everyone’s personal life, or work environment, it didn’t even register with this guy. Zero foxes given for his people, just whoever was above him.

Jessie, being older, was looking at retirement. Between the Corp and his civvie job he was done doin a 9-5. He was beginning to have health issues, and had frequent doctors appointments. Right around the holidays, everyone wants to take leave, and we have a 50% staffing policy pretty much across the board at work. No more than half of our shop can be off at the same time. So it gets pretty cutthroat around thanksgiving and xmas. Everyone wants to flounce out for the holidays.

New boss, wants to be the personal savior of everything company. Tells everyone that we are gonna do a 75% staff instead, and proceeds to shut down all of our leave slips.

Que everyone getting “sick”

Boss gets mad and demands doctors notes for all sick days, appointments, anything outside of work.

Well, we all have pretty good insurance, so a 25$ copay is now a “day off bounty” and there is pretty much a mutiny in the shop over this asshats continuous stream of stupid policy.

This hits Jessie especially hard. He’s got a host of shit breaking down in his old body. After about the sixth or seventh time the new boss verbally dresses down Jessie for taking excessive sick time, he snaps. You want notes? You got em. He went through the union contract and discovered that documentation doesn’t have to be from an actual doctor. Need a day because you felt sick? All you need per the union contract is a receipt for a bottle of Tylenol. Dentist appointment? The reminder note for your next appointment. The crown jewel of the shenanigans was his colonoscopy. Jessie got the proctologist to screen shot a picture of the inside of his colon, and used it as his “note”. He retired a champion. Place isn’t the same without him.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Sigbac on 2024-10-31 11:29:35+00:00.

Ok here's a small but extremely satisfying one.

I needed some tee shirts screenprinted for a little horsey summer camp I ran. Logo, summer Camp, and campers name or for staff- their role; Lunger, Coach, etc.

Went to a big chain store that offers this, I've used them multiple times before and they are great and usually about 10€ per shirt, with logo name etc. and get it done while I browse the store.

For some reason I went to get the ticket/estimate and it's quoted at 32€ per shirt (just for screenprint, I'd bought the shirts already) so I ask for a price breakdown.

10e for the logo 10e for one line text (name or role) 10e for another line of text ( ______Summer Camp 2024) 2e to do it right away (no other orders are in attente/queue)

I say woah woah, pull up the company site and say I would like this service, where we 'design' the shirts and then one logo is printed that includes names and Camp name and line logo (this is all one color, minimalist line logo) and its this listed price (like we usually do) and the employee wasn't having it. I can absolutely respect that, let's go by the book, to the letter.

So I said no thank you, went onto Instagram, pulled up like I was making a story and put the logo, name/role and the Summer Camp Name and then saved it like an image. Vectorized it on my phones little photo editing and saved

Did that for each camper plus the Coach and the Lunger. Sent all the images to the Store's workshop email

So one logo (which includes text as part of the logo but the file is technically a vector picture/image) for each person, and what do you know, it's actually only 8€ for a "picture only" and non urgent print! And all this time I'd been paying 10. My satisfaction was palpable, as I stated "ok I want THIS logo on this size shirt, this logo for that shirt" etc etc.

And no I don't want it rushed. Oh I'm the next order in the queue? Perfect. Compliance (or being a stickler?) saved me money and felt really good

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/glimmerfox on 2024-10-31 01:10:38+00:00.

So I was trying to be festive at work near Halloween, and was wearing little accessories. First day I had cat ears and everyone thought it was cute. The next day I put on little devil horns.

I was told to take them off as I offended someone in my department (was not told who), and it was written as a dress code violation

The thing is no one really complies fully to dress code. So I went up to the next level and complained that if I get a dress code violation that they need to look at everyone as no one fully complies.

I still don't know who complained about me, but I know they are gonna get a lot of hell from everyone else.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Antihateaccount_ on 2024-10-30 15:23:47+00:00.

I (22M) am the primary caretaker of one of my family members. Among other chronic illnesses, she is a diagnosed narcissist with early dementia.

As per my family's request, I moved with her and took an online job as a trilingual translator to ensure I would be there 24/7 should she have an emergency. Somehow, she has interpreted my constant presence as me not having a job, despite me explaining several times that I did, in fact, work. She went to the point of stealing my ID and debit card, saying she would not be giving them back to me unless I gave out resumes where she told me to. I have searched the whole house and couldn't find them so I was forced to comply.

I have a huge amount of respect for people who work in these fields, but I am not taking a job as a cleaner or a cashier when I work in my field of choice. That's when I noticed all the places she was forcing me to send out resumes to were requesting a cover letter.

This is where the malicious compliance takes place. I took an already written cover letter and changed some details so it'd be like I wrote it myself. I made her read it and approve it as per her request, then added the following sentences in my second paragraph:

"If this letter arrives on your desk, please know that this application has been sent without my consent. Already having an online full-time job, please do not take it into consideration."

As you can imagine, I didn't get called back much. Only one place sent me an email, and once I explained the situation their HR team wished me luck with my situation and told me this motivated them to read cover letters more carefully.

At the same time, I contacted my boss. I knew they sometimes open in-office positions and my boss is one of the nicest people I know, so I contacted her and asked if there was any way I could get the next in-office position, telling her why exactly I was asking that. I've been working there for 6 months and she never had any complaints about me, so she sent me a permanent contract starting in January 2025 for their office. It's overseas, in a country where I'm legally allowed to work without a work visa.

I won't specify which country, since I have the intention of disappearing there. My flight is already booked, and only my best friend knows what is going on. I have a letter already written out where I tell my family to not warn the authorities. As soon as I land my bank account will be closed and my phone subscription cancelled, and after 5 years, I will ask to become a citizen in that country and won't renew the paperwork necessary to prove my citizenship in my birth country.

I have 3 younger siblings, all of them are still in middle school. They have their own email addresses that our parents don't know about, so I will send them an email telling them this is not their fault and that they're the only ones in the family who are allowed to contact me. I'll also add that I will answer to any questions they have once they turn 18.

I'm excited. I'm excited to start a new life, I'm excited to get out of this family who has been the source of most of my problems for my whole life. I'm excited to finally escape toxic people in a toxic environment that was destroying my mental health. Only two months left and after 22 long years of waiting I'll finally be free. All of this because my last straw was forcing me to send out job applications.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Mr_Coco1234 on 2024-10-30 14:21:12+00:00.

Note: English is not my first language.

I’ve been working in my field for a while, and I’ve always taken pride in doing a thorough, reliable job. I’m a high performer and had a solid track record with my previous bosses, who valued quality and consistency. But then Eric became our new boss, and things took a hard turn.

Eric was all about efficiency. He came from a startup environment where things didn't need to be perfect, just right AND fast! He wanted things done fast—even if it meant cutting corners. In meetings, he’d throw around phrases like, “Time is money!” and “Every second counts!” Sure, efficiency is important, but Eric took it to an extreme. He didn’t care about the quality of our work; he just wanted it done now. Nuances, quality checks, and double-checking went right out the window.

Then, he decided to implement a “Time Tracking and Output” policy. This meant logging every task we worked on with specific time limits. Anything taking longer than his arbitrary limits was flagged, and we’d have to explain ourselves in weekly “efficiency reviews.” Essentially, the new rule was: don’t need to do it completely right—just do it fast.

I tried explaining to him that rushing through things would lead to mistakes, but Eric insisted this would “maximize productivity.” Frustrated but willing to play by his rules, I decided I’d give him exactly what he asked for. If Eric wanted speed, I’d deliver speed.

I stopped double-checking everything. Tasks that normally took an hour to review and refine? I was now completing in 15 minutes, barely glancing at them. Documents that required analysis? I’d throw some data together and call it a day. Anything that usually got a thorough review now only got a quick, single pass—tops.

Naturally, errors began cropping up. Typos, incorrect numbers, misplaced data, bad presentations—mistakes were popping up everywhere. But technically, I was working exactly within Eric’s time limits. Eric was thrilled with how much faster I was working and started bragging in meetings about how “efficient” our team had become.

Then the clients started to notice. One of our biggest accounts found a major error in a document I’d whipped together at record speed. That led to an awkward phone call with Eric. More issues came up, and after about two weeks of “optimized efficiency,” I got called into his office with his boss.

Eric, visibly irritated, asked me why the quality of my work had taken such a nosedive. I calmly explained that I was meeting all of his time limits, exactly as instructed. I told him that quality work requires time, which I simply didn’t have under his new policy.

Eric sat there in silence, realizing his policy had backfired. His boss stared at him, completely stunned and red in the face. After an awkward pause, Eric muttered about “re-evaluating” the time limits on tasks. The “efficiency” policy quietly disappeared soon after.

Now, I’m back to doing my job properly. Eric's under performance review and his boss is closely involved with all our operations, especially with big clients. Why reinvent the wheel when things are working fine? And why try to rein in the high performers to stamp your authority?

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/54Phoenix on 2024-10-30 13:55:33+00:00.

This one comes from my old man's days working at Ford. The usual policy for them and I'm sure for most of you out there, is a single day off does not require a medical note, but multiple days in a row or those before and after a public holiday do. A new manager decided to cut down on those employees who would take a "sickie" every so often, he would put in place the policy that even a single day off sick would require a medical certificate.

What happened was people would comply with this request, but now rather than one day off to relax, people would take a whole week off. You see doctors out here are pretty relaxed and just ask you how many days you want off when writing a certificate. We also get 14 days sick leave per year. The new policy turned that one day off into 5dayitis. After a little while of this, the policy was rescinded.

Oddly enough this raised it head again at my first workplace. The new manager was happily telling us how every single day off would require a certificate. I pointed out this story from my old man's days at work. His new policy lasted less than 2 hours.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/firakti on 2024-10-30 12:11:29+00:00.

Buckle up, fasten seat your seatbelts and lend me your ears folks as this is gonna a be a long one...

I work in customer support for a company that provides specialized software to major players in the healthcare industry. Our clients aren’t your average users—they’re hospitals, clinics, and medical centers where downtime can have serious consequences. I’ve been with the company for five years and know our software inside out, so I’m often able to troubleshoot unusual problems and get things back on track without a hassle.

A few months ago, though, a new supervisor named Alex joined us. He was fresh from a corporate management program and came in with grand ideas about “efficiency” and “productivity.” In his mind, the solution to our “slow response times” was simple: a “script-only” policy. According to him, every client interaction needed to be scripted to prevent “wasting time on unnecessary advice.” No more custom solutions, no additional steps, no thinking outside the box. If a client’s issue wasn’t in the script, we were to log it, escalate it, and have them wait for a callback.

When Alex announced the new policy, I raised my hand, explaining that most clients call us precisely because they’re dealing with specific, time-sensitive issues. Sticking rigidly to the script would just frustrate them and, in many cases, fail to solve their problems entirely. Alex didn’t budge. “Everyone follows the script, no exceptions,” he said, smiling in that overconfident way that made it clear he thought he was reinventing the wheel. “If even our biggest client calls, you follow the script.”

Cue a couple of weeks later. One morning, I pick up a call and am greeted by the CEO of one of our top clients—a massive healthcare network we’ve worked with for years. They hold a multi-million-dollar contract with us, and losing them would be catastrophic. The CEO is calling in a panic because their entire system is down. The glitch they’re dealing with is blocking patient records and diagnostics, putting patient care at risk. This isn’t just a technical issue; it’s affecting people’s health.

As soon as he describes the issue, I recognize the problem. It’s a known bug with a straightforward, 5-minute workaround—something I’ve handled a dozen times before. But here’s the thing: the fix isn’t in the script. I’m immediately torn. My instincts tell me to help him, to do my job and prevent a disaster. But Alex’s strict orders echo in my head: “Follow the script. No exceptions.” If I help, I risk my job. If I don’t, I risk this client’s contract—and possibly lives.

So, I do exactly as Alex told me to do. I go through the script, step-by-painful-step. The CEO is losing patience fast. As I drone through basic troubleshooting steps he clearly doesn’t need, he interrupts, asking why I’m wasting time. I explain the policy: “I’m only allowed to offer solutions that are in our script. If this doesn’t fix it, I can escalate the case, and someone will call you back within 24 hours.”

He goes dead silent, then says, “Escalate it. Now.”

I log the issue as required, escalating it for a callback. Within an hour, word spreads that Alex has been summoned to an emergency meeting with our department head. Apparently, the CEO of our client had gotten in touch with our company’s leadership directly and wasn’t mincing words. He demanded an explanation for the sudden drop in our service quality and threatened to take his business elsewhere. Rumor has it he even said, “If your idea of support is running through a script instead of fixing the problem, then we’re done here.”

By the end of the day, we all received an email titled, “SCRIPT POLICY UPDATE.” Effective immediately, we were now “encouraged to use best judgment” and to go off-script as needed for high-priority issues. Alex’s entire “efficiency” plan was scrapped on the spot, and he’s now under “performance review.” It’s safe to say he’s lost any respect from our team, and I’m not sure his reputation will ever recover after that blunder.

In the days that followed, the story of the “client meltdown” spread like wildfire through the office, growing more exaggerated with each telling. Some people said the CEO threatened to sue. Others claimed he’d hinted at buying out a competitor. Regardless of the details, Alex’s name became a kind of cautionary tale, a reminder of what happens when you put rigid policies above common sense.

And as for me? Well, I’ve been doing my job the way I always have—thinking on my feet, solving problems, and trusting my instincts. The difference now is, I have a little smirk every time I think about it. After all, I was just following orders.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Many_Examination955 on 2024-10-29 12:11:23+00:00.

I was the IT head of a medium sized company. I was configuring an Apache server on Ubuntu when my boss walked past and asked me what that weird 'skin' was. I told him that I was running a server on Ubuntu. My boss told me that we don't use that Linux stuff here and told me to use Windows.

I had quite a bit of control over the finances of the company with a company credit card. Most of us were issued with a company managed Android phones.

Now, Android OS is a Linux distribution, and this was during the 2022 tech boom when you could walk into a new tech job within a week.

I bought 20+ new iPhone's to comply with my bosses disdain for Linux. He questioned me a couple of weeks later, after I had already opened and configured the iPhone's. I told him, frankly, that Android phones actually use a Linux kernel like Ubuntu. He told me that he "enacted a policy exempting Android phones" and made the intern list those iPhone's on eBay.

He had to take quite a hit on the sales as we had to list it as used.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/larryskank on 2024-10-28 15:02:02+00:00.

I know we all hate telemarketers but these can I buy your house folks push me to a new level of annoyed.

They used to give out a fake company name and say home builders Inc or something. I ended up googling it and got in contact with the actual owner of that company I believe he was out of MN. He told me that there's a company in Egypt of all places, that sells sales leads to American companies slipping by the legality of combing through public records for personal information. He told me to get at the American companies, I'd need to pretend to be interested in selling my house and wait for the call from the US based company and confront them. So that's what I did. After giving some vague info that was incorrect to the Egyptian caller I did eventually get matched and called from someone in northern Ohio. When I explained I knew what he was doing and that it wasn't legal, he eventually hung up on me and blocked me. I called from a few different numbers until he disconnected his line. Small win but not the story I came to tell.

The calls haven't stopped so trolling is my new favorite thing. I constantly beat them to the punch and ask to buy their house, ask them how Egypt is or what the pyramids are like. I've tried to order pizza, put them on hold to see how long they'd last, or just change the subject completely.

My biggest win was when they ask do you have any other properties to sell, I said infact I do. 1600 Pennsylvania avenue, District of Columbia. A very famous address here in the states, somehow my Egyptian caller wasn't familiar with it and took all my information. Regrettably I didn't have amazing information, but I did tell him it had a fenced in yard, ton of extra bed rooms, an big round office and top notch security system.

Two days later I got a call.

"Not sure who you are but we'll played. I've been laughing for the last half hour. How did you convince them you owned the white house."

The first gentleman that called got the joke. He congratulated me and we had a laugh and he hung up.

An hour later I got another call from someone who wasn't laughing.

"I'm trying to figure out why I got a sales lead on the white house"

Well that's because people in Egypt, where you buy your illegal sales leads, don't know shit about America.

"Yeah well I don't think it's funny"

Well that's tough because I think it's hysterical. Not only did you waste money on a useless sales lead now I'm wasting your time.

He told me to go fuck myself but I'm not mad.

Does anyone else have any famous addresses I should sell?

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Dark-Fury-1982 on 2024-10-28 11:24:27+00:00.

So this story happened over 20 years ago, back when I was in high school working for my first non-family job. I worked at a restaurant that offered a buffet and pizza, a game room, and drinks. No, not one with Pizza in the name either. The location in question no longer exists, so I feel more comfortable telling this story now. If there is a better place for this, please let me know and I'll gladly move it.

At the time, I (17M) was working on a Sunday. I was asked to work the Bar Open shift (9-4). Around 12 or 1 l, the closer would come in. I was able to do everything except pour alcohol and do register for sales related to alcohol. No big deal. Football comes on (Packers vs Cowboys), and soon the closer came in. She (30s) has some sort of disability given a speech impediment, but I neither knew what it was, asked, or even cared about it. I had put in my two weeks notice, as I got sick of the closing shifts I would get, which should be until 10pm, but sometimes going past midnight - in violation of my work permit.

Closer comes in during a slow period and tells me she's got it handled for now. Great, that leaves me with nothing really to do, so I pick up a tub and start bussing tables (cleaning them for those who may not know). We have two managers on duty that day - one I liked (Madge), and one I didn't like so much (let's call him Rob... Screw you Rob). Madge sees me bussing and asks what I'm doing, so I let her know what happened. She sees the bar area getting behind with dirty glasses to be cleaned, along with a long line of customers, and asks me to go back to help. I figure, I'll do the glasses and let her handle the customers. That way, it's less stress for her.

I get there, get going on glasses, and after a few, she sternly tells me she had it under control. I explain that I was asked by the manager to help out over here. She angrily says I'm not needed here. This left me puzzled, but I went back to bussing tables, as I couldn't find any manager at the time.

A couple minutes later, Madge sees me, and sternly asks why I wasn't doing what I was told. I again explained what happened, that she asked me to help, but my help wasn't welcomed. I was trying to keep the peace between us and didn't want to look like I was doing nothing, so I was trying to help get tables turned over quickly, since we went to having a host do seating given how busy it got. I get told again to go back, do glasses like I was, and to get her if anything else happens.

So I go back, knots in my stomach, for I knew a storm was brewing. Deep breath taken, I drop my tin off for the dishwashers, and go back to the bar. Her line is at least a dozen deep (only one register), and no clear counter space for dirty cups to go. So I grab a couple cups, start washing, but next thing I know, a hand grabs my wrist. I turn over, and here it's the Closer reprimanding me. Angry at being grabbed like that, I say to her, "don't you EVER grab me like that with that kind of hostility. I was TOLD TO BE HERE and to help you by the manager. I do NOT appreciate you grabbing me like that, and if you EVER do that again, I promise you I will consider it an attack on me personally and I will defend myself appropriately!"

At the end of that, manager Rob comes around, grabs her off to the side, leaving me to manage the bar by myself. The patrons there who saw what happened sided with me, saying I handled it about as well as I could have and that she was out of line. Nice to have that validation, but it mattered not.

Few minutes later, I get told to go home. Wait, what? Me? "Don't I get a chance to say my side of what happened?" No, go home. "If I leave, I'll never set foot in this store again," I say, giving one last chance to do the right thing. "I don't care, go home."

Fine, I went home. Rob didn't witness any of what happened earlier, to my knowledge, and sided with her and didn't even bother getting my side of the situation. So I left. The rest of the week I was supposed to be closing the game room (4-9). I called the next day after school, got the main manager, explained what happened, and said I cannot in good faith work the rest of my notice given the hostile work environment that has come up. He thanked me for my time, and ensured if I ever needed a job in the future, that I would have one there. Thankfully, I didn't need to go back, but was still nice to know.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Sure-Victory7172 on 2024-10-26 20:30:34+00:00.

This happened while I was in the Army stationed in South Korea April 95 - April 96.

Senior enlisted were throwing a going away party for the outgoing First Sgt. Top was cool and all, but I was a PFC with no interest in going.......

Until we were informed if you didn't buy a ticket you were shanghied into working "special duty" for the event.

Tickets were based on your rank, E4 and below were $2.00.

Cue malicious compliance....bought a ticket just to get out of working "special duty" for this BS "hey you detail".

Got dismissed from formation, changed into civies, made an appearance, ate some buffet food, and dipped out.

Best two bucks I ever spent to get out of a detail.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Unlikely_Ad2116 on 2024-10-25 21:52:29+00:00.

This story is called "The Unpromotables".

Important backstory: In the USA, Government jobs are under the Civil Service System. This is supposed to ensure that Government jobs are given out "based on what you know, not who you know." For example, to get a job as an entry-level accountant, one would need to meet the minimum qualification of a Bachelor of Science in Accounting. Periodically, a test would be given for that position. The people who score highest on the test are first in line for jobs. This uses "The Rule of Three." The job is supposed to go to one of the three highest scoring candidates who agree to accept the job if offered. Promotion examinations are held the same way.

Needless to say, managers and politicians HATE this.

There was a group of employees at my State agency who took every promotion exam we were qualified for. And generally got top scores on all of them. We all had excellent work records, and even awards for productivity, innovation, and "going the extra mile." None of us had any black marks in our personnel files other than maybe a "counseling memo." That is basically a slap on the wrist, less than a formal writeup- "Boss told employee not to do X ever again."

However, we had problems like use of offensive language. We said inappropriate things like "Why are we doing this this way? This is awkward and inefficient! We can streamline this process!" Bosses don't like this kind of language.

We also brought offensive materials into the workplace. Such as "Look at this. It says right here in Chapter X, Section Y of Z State Law we're doing this wrong!" Bosses don't like this either.

So now we have a group of highly qualified, motivated employees sitting on top of the promotion lists. The people the bosses wanted to promote were lower on the lists. But if three of us applied, were interviewed and said "Yes" then the job legally had to be given to one of us. We got to know each other because the lists were available to employees. We started with calling each other- "Did you apply for X promotion?" We sort of became a support group. We'd even meet for lunch or drinks after work sometimes, and called ourselves "The Unpromotables."

Then we realized something. Why are we only applying for jobs we want? This is where the Malicious Compliance comes in. The bunch of us started applying for every promotion we were on the list for. No matter how bad the job, how mean the boss, how toxic the office, no matter what the duties- we all applied. And when asked if we'd accept the job if offered, we all said yes.

We heard through the grapevine that this was driving management insane. Their teacher's pets and brown nosers wanted promotions. But we were blocking them. Whenever management tried something shady, they quickly found out that all of us knew our rights under State Civil Service Law backwards and forwards. It was both funny and frustrating to see management leave a position unfilled rather than give it to any of us. This was also not popular with the employees in those offices, who now had to pick up the slack from the vacant position (which was above their pay grade) as well as their own, with no increase in pay.

I was actually offered a promotion once, and the hiring manager had started onboarding me- but the big boss over both offices shot it down, because they didn't want to lose me from my old position. That boss blocked my promotions for over a decade.

Sorry this doesn't have a happy ending. That was still the status quo when I took early retirement the second I turned 55. Was planning on working longer, but 30+ years of a steady diet of toxic crap was drastically affecting my physical and mental health.

Permission to read on YouTube, permission to edit for grammar and spelling.

EDIT: Thanks to everybody who responded. Hearing that this happens to other people really gave my self-esteem a boost, and will help with my healing journey.

Dang, really s***s to be so accultured to have negative opinions of mental health care that I hesitated to type "healing journey."

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Ancient_Educator_76 on 2024-10-25 00:04:23+00:00.

I workin Arizonas Hometown Grocers’ meat department. I love most of my customers. Some of them, not so much. This is about one of those guys.

Trout-hat Terry comes in to the meat department, looking around in a manner that I could only describe as inspectorial. Like he was agreeing or disagreeing by nodding or shaking his head with every thing he looked at. A flurry of eyebrows and shoulders.

He comes to me as I greet him with my usual “hey how’s it g-“ then he spits right into his spiel.

“Yeah I wann THAT piece, can you see it?!”

Very abrupt and unnecessarily adversarial, plus I’m terrible at meat-plinko, where I have to figure out what he’s pointing at using a one hundred twenty degree angle that needs adjusting for our difference in height.

I’m thinking “dude you can poke the glass as hard or as woodpeckery as you want I still don’t know which one “. It’s the same thing with my other job when I’ve gotta get a pack of obscure cigarettes I just put my finger someplace and they say higher lower lefter or righter. Easier game for both of us.

Anyway we finally get through the beef gauntlet when I throw it atop the scale. Every time I put meat on the scale , I put it on a mini individual wax paper. I had another one I grabbed it with and it was on top of the meat as I weigh him out and print the ticket.

He waits til the ticket is printed and meat wrapped and in his hand to say

“Hey!,, do it Coreckly coorrrrrre eckkkkkkly.”

I look at him, the way my dog did the first time he heard me fart. Just head cocked trying to figure out what just happened.

“You put an extra paper on the scale you made it weigh more redo it. Make it correckly! Corr reck- lyyy”

I guess he didn’t like the price

I was going to do what I usually do in this case and show him that the paper is literally weightless and doesn’t change the scale when I saw a glorious opportunity. I saw that the code was wrong that I put in like wayyy wrong to his benefit

I easily could have typed in the same code I did before but I decided to apply my MC card

“Oh crap I put this in as ny strip instead of filet man my bad good call! “

I wrapped it happily and handed it to him with an Aaron Rodgers booger eating grin on my face.

“26 bucks jeezus! Well I guess I deserved that ha”

Nice to see a guy take it in stride, after I final,y entered the weight correckkly.

TLDR- got my meats mixed up.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Karcossa on 2024-10-24 13:35:10+00:00.

I was at the drive through of a coffee place in Canada that is named after a hockey player (who is far more famous for his donuts). I pulled up to the speaker and started to order my drink, donut and the pack of hockey cards that I seem to be addicted to buying.

“Could I have an XL tea with two milk,” I started my order, already wondering what card I’ll pull.

“Drive up.”

Now I knew, logically, the person on the other end was being impatient, and had assumed I only wanted a drink. But I’m tired of the phrase “sorry, I’m not done with my order yet,” so I drove up.

The cashier told me my total and handed me the debit machine and was surprised when I said that I also wanted cards and a donut. I think the kicker was when I said “I assumed he couldn’t hear me so told me to drive up and finish my order.”

It was a minor inconvenience for them, and didn’t add more than half a minute to the wait behind me. I’m sure they won’t learn anything from this, either.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Dependent_Price_1306 on 2024-10-24 03:09:04+00:00.

While not completely malicious, it's close enough that it won't be out of place here & i'm sure you will all get a chuckle.

A few years back I worked at an IT company & one day the boss decides to buy everyone lunch, so Myself (M) & one of the other guys & girl from the office head up to pick up the order of 20 odd burgers & chips etc. When we get back to the office building, we are on the 7th floor & there are 2 elevators, both of which are available in the lobby. She says to me "race you up" to which I reply "what are you, a child?"

The 3 of us get into one of the elevators, I quickly hit the buttons for every floor & jump out before the doors shut.

I beat them up there by a few minutes, & im giving the boss his burger, their elevator opens & she calls me a dickhead from across the office. Boss is like WTF, & I told him what happen and he pissed himself laughing.

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/joaobalaya on 2024-10-23 08:59:54+00:00.

I'm a middle school teacher, and one of my seventh graders is an ADHD kid with a heavily active imagination. He loves working with his hands, so he is always cutting up paper, braiding yarn, etc. We always encourage him to clear his desk for class and at least try to keep the clutter away, and he always does it happily, although he sometimes has a little back and forth. "Student, let's start the lesson? Put the yarn away" "oh it's not yarn, it's technically nylon cords, so I can keep doing it, right?" This is always light-hearted and in no away aggressive, he knows he is being pedantic, it's just for fun.

Preparing for his responses, I always try to find a way to phrase my sentences in a way it will be hard to counter and yesterday it backfired.

He was messing about with paper and he told me "teacher, today you can't tell me to stop cutting paper, because I'm not cutting, I'm just folding" and he had a huge amount of folded pieces of paper on his desk.

So I said "very nice, student! So will you please stop manipulating paper so that we can start the class?" And smiled victoriously at him.

Little did I know, he looked at me and "what did you say? Stop manipulating paper?" And IMMEDIATELY proceeded to put away his notebooks and textbooks. I knew I had been cooked and just told him he had outsmarted me again. He kept at his desk doing nothing for like a minute and then he laughed it off, winked and got his stuff back on the desk, no folding paper anymore.

I love the little dude and I cherish these back and forth we have

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/throwaway7264822 on 2024-10-23 05:56:04+00:00.

So, me (23M) and my housemate (23F) were actually really good friends at one point but we have had issues in the past but we decided to sweep them under the rug and implement some boundaries. Our relationship has been really rocky for the last six months. She’s very hot and cold with me, and there are times when she just decides not to talk to me, leaving me confused about what I’ve done wrong.

A week ago, she did it again. And we haven’t spoken literally at all. If I try to ask her what’s up, she says nothing and leaves the room. The latest situation involves the drying rack we share. She left town for a few days and decided to leave her clothes drying on the rack. The thing is, she actually moved my clothes (which were still drying) to put hers on the rack. Then, she left a note that said, “Don’t touch my shit. Thanks!!! :)”

I found it pretty ridiculous and hypocritical, considering she literally moved my stuff to put hers on the rack.

Anyway, all her clothes were hanging on the right side, and mine were on the left. The rack gets a bit unstable if only one side has weight on it, so as I was taking down my clothes, the whole thing tipped over because all the weight was on the right.

I considered picking it up and trying to fix it, but then I thought, “She told me not to touch her stuff.” So, I just left it as it was and added my own note above hers, saying, “It fell when I took my stuff down. Didn’t want to touch your shit.”

Be careful what you wish for, stupid b***!!

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Ancient_Educator_76 on 2024-10-23 03:03:26+00:00.

This one should be (fairly) quick. I started working at a convenience store, one that doesn’t particularly like it’s employees to have a significant amount of cash in their drawers. Okay, no biggie. Anytime somebody is paying with a big bill we have them use the “mash gin”, pretty dope self checkout system if I do say so myself.

But it doesn’t do cash back.

Typically, we don’t either.

We accommodate when we can, and try to be nice about it when we can, despite our all caps NO CASH BACK sign we have, laminated , so we can put it out when we’re low.

It’s officially out. We’ve got no (very limited) cash, customers in line at all registers, and we encounter KarenFace. I guess he’s technically a Kevin.

I’m so low Im asking customers if they’re paying with cash or card, subsequently referring cash to the automated ,machines.

I ask KarenFace “hey how’s it going is it cash or card??”

KF- oh it’s card

Me - good thanks

I ring his four bucks worth of items and then he says as the register pops open “ oh I put in for cash back” as he’s literally touching the no cash back sign

I try so hard not to sigh, to no avail. As my drawer is popped open I see Im in luck someone actually just paid for gas with eight fives so I promptly grab the, and start counting.

KF- what the fuq bro nah “don’t give me all fives wutdafuq is wrong with you?” I know u guys got cash “

yall lying pieces of shits !

Okay the last little part was said with just with his face but fuq dat guy.

Enter MC

As I explain to him that this is really all Iv e got I decided to leave two fives and hand him a roll of quarters with thirty in fives. I make sure it’s splayed out so it looks like a lot of fives.

“Looks like you’re right, we do got cash”

Tmdr- I gave a Kevin forty dollars cash back

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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/DetectedStupid on 2024-10-20 15:19:28+00:00.

This happened a while ago. At that time I was currently 13-14 years old (I think?) I was in a family vacation with my best friend, in this trip we were supposed to stay 5 days in the lake an then come back home.

My mom is (most of the time) a mayor a-hole so I was not surprised when she started having a bad attitude with me.

After being 3 days on this trip, I was exhausted, I had spent all day on the lake and was really, really tired, all I wanted to do was to lay down in the camping tent and sleep the day away.

My mom decided that this was a great time to ask me for help, she wanted me to carry my brother to the lake, bathe him, and bring him back to her (he was around a year old or so). Obviously I was so out of myself that I told her 'no' and that she could do it herself (there was around a 10min walk to the lake). She started screaming at me, as to how bad of a sister and child I must be 'cause I 'never helped her' and yadda yadda.

Then after screaming at me for half an hour she asked me if now I was ready to help her, I responded 'no' again and that she hadn't gone out of the van all day and that she must've been filled with enough energy to do it.

Then she goes to scream at my dad to pack things up, take away my phone from me and that I was grounded till she said so. Also she made me go alone with her in the car ride (we went with 2 cars 'cause we didn't fit) and proceded to lecture me the 2 hours back home about respect, how I should behave, that I should help around more in the house and to have more family time and also that I could be doing other things and to 'get a hobby' because for her I was apparently all the day on my phone.

Cue to the malicious compliance, I decided that if she wanted all that then I could manage.

We arrived home at around 11pm and she went to sleep at 3am (for some reason). At 9am I was up and I decided that my new hobby was to play to flute at first thing on the morning, I proceded to play the flute so bad and loud that my brother started crying (I was playing the flute on the yard and they were on their room, all the way across on the house and with their windows closed). She couldn't tell me anything because when she came to the yard to tell me off but I was so polite and gave perfect reason that I was far and I was getting a new hobby as she had told me. The house stayed squeaky clean for two weeks but everyday I made a point to go to sleep before everyone so that everyday I woke up a little bit earlier and ready to blast my flute each day for around 1h 'till the couldn't bare it anymore.

I think I even reached playing the flute at 5am. By the end of two weeks the punishment wasn’t over but I was slowly driving my mom insane by messing with her sleep schedule and I knew that.

I also started lecturing my parents because they didn't have proper manners and they couldn't tell me nothing because they KNEW I was right.

I spend all the day stuck to either my mom or dad and talked their ear off and made everyone watch those horrible educational films no one likes, made them participate in family bonding time (like making cookies) proceded to leave as much of a mess as I could and when they told me to clean it: Sorry, but I already heve cleaned the house today, could you do it?

I was eating their brains, their sanity and their free time, either by nagging them or by catiously waking my brother up but doing it in a way quiet way so that they wouldn't find out and having them to deal with a baby all day long.

The last day (around 2 weeks and a half) my mom was so fed up that she gave me the phone back.

It has been around 2 or 3 years since then and I haven't been grounded since then.