this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
696 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

17933 readers
1928 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

My bad. I'll get on that.

[–] achay@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

CO2 injection is used to help extract oil from reservoirs, but getting CO2 there is expensive, Exxon wants the people's money (government subsidies) so they get a free ride producing cleaner (cheaper) oil from (economically) dead reservoirs.

[–] IHeartBadCode@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And don’t forget, not only are they focused on oil but also lithium.

Because they know their goose is cooked but that won’t stop them double dipping in all of those Government hand outs.

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Are you sure that’s lithium and not latinum?

[–] IHeartBadCode@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

263rd Rule of Acquisition: “ Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.”

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

#102: Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.

[–] IHeartBadCode@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

You’ve got the lobes of a shrewd Ferengi.

[–] mods_are_assholes@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Drag him out of his office and piss on him in the streets.

Billionaires shouldn't exist.

[–] TheObviousSolution@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I agree, it's not yet legal to shoot Exxon CEOs and executives on sight. Maybe we should take their example and consider the legal world more malleable than we do.

[–] ConstantPain@lemmy.world -1 points 2 years ago

Let's pick a guy and execute him. Problem solved.

I volunteer the next one in the thread!

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›