this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 47 points 6 days ago

Sharks: Sharks.

[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 34 points 6 days ago (16 children)

Crustaceans: Crab

Mammals: ~~Weasel~~ Crab

Plants: ~~Tree~~ Grass. Everything grass.

Amphibians & Reptiles: ~~Unchanged because they are perfect~~ Crab

Birds: ~~360° around back to dinosaurs~~ First of all, avian dinosaurs are dinosaurs. Secondly, 360° doesn't really make sense, probably they meant 180°. Finally, crab.

Fungi: I shan't speculate on the affairs of gods.

Moral of the story: You might not like it but decapods are peak animal evolution. All roads lead to crab.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)
[–] theorychapter@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago

Hotel? Trivago.

^ Winner of the thread.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 11 points 6 days ago

Mammals: Anteater

Ants: Crab

Mammals: Crabeater

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Misusing 360° where you should use 180° is a running joke

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[–] wabafee@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

I don't mind being a crab imagine not working. Just be crab.

Secondly, 360° doesn't really make sense, probably they meant 180°.

It makes sense if you consider birds to be a mid-360° position of dinosaur evolution. They started at "classic" dinosaurs, pivoted to the avian variety, and will continue to pivot until they return to their classic form.

[–] muzzle@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Plant evolution is anything but stable. They keep evolving and devolving from weeds to trees and back every few 100 generations.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

One fungus will eventually manage to mind control the crabs, like some already do with ants.

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[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

360° makes sense if the starting point was dinosaurs. Birds would be the 180° mark.

[–] scholar@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Even grass evolves to tree - look at bamboo

[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 6 days ago
[–] la508@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Ring the crab bell

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[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] kazerniel@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

wow this is fascinating, thanks for sharing!

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[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 22 points 6 days ago

Even the gods fear the fungal network.

[–] The_Decryptor@aussie.zone 10 points 5 days ago

Crustaceans: Extinct

Mammals: Extinct

Plants: Extinct

Amphibians & Reptiles: Extinct

Birds: Extinct

Fungi: Interstellar hive-mind

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Fungus head out to seed another planet.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Beatles. Beatles everywhere. Bowl cuts will go crazy.

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

There's a phenomenal documentary series called The Future Is Wild that speculates on this question.

https://youtube.com/@thefutureiswildofficial

https://www.thefutureiswild.com/

It has 3 parts, projecting to 5, 100 and 200 million years into the future.

The main theme is that niches determine attributes. So when an opportunity opens up, one species will evolve to fill that niche. For instance sea birds evolve into whales. Octopodes evolve into primates.

I loved this as a kid. It was one of a handful of really influential pieces of media from my childhood.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 4 days ago

I'm actually surprised octopus haven't evolved more than they already have. I suppose they would have to evolve skeletons to be able to survive on land so that's probably what's holding them back.

[–] TheGuyTM3@lemmy.ml 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hot take: the fungi will take over all existing animal and plant life, and create a whole biosphere of fungi. Fungi crustaceans, fungi mammals, fungi plants, fungi amphibians, fungi reptiles, fungi birds.

The fungi humans would have achieved world peace, because there's no genders to create inequalities, and with spores flying everywhere, unwanted infidelity and physical differences are so common that anger and jealousy makes no sense.

[–] zebidiah@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 days ago

Sure, but we will always have racism to fall back on

[–] muzzle@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 days ago

Plants keep evolving and devolving into trees every 100 generations.

[–] pooberbee@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

All the fish are dead, of course.

[–] wander1236@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] grue@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)
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[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Everything in the system evolves into a cloud of dust and gas about 27 million years from now.

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 days ago

That's... that's very soon. What do you know‽

"shan't" is a great word

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Evolution by Stephen Baxter (Wikipedia) was an interesting read.
Note: Baxter can be dry at times but i always enjoy the worlds he creates.

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I respect the hell out of Baxter, he's a hard sci-fi artist. However, he's so unrelentingly bleak I had to quit reading his stuff.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Can you share where you felt that way? Been a while since I've read him.

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The midpoint to the end of Evolution, humans basically devolve and ultimately go extinct.

It's been awhile since I've read anything by him as well.

I remember another book where artifically created people inside a dwarf star were dying due to solar harvesting, IIRC. I remember it being depressing but fascinating. Don't remember how it ends.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, very fair. I guess i quite like the bleakness. I love dark and gritty stories.

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

He's an incredible author, I'd put him up there with Alastair Reynolds. I just can't handle it.

[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Raccoon also seems to be a pretty popular mammal convergance. Or generally small climbing quadruped with a varied diet and at least semi-functional hands.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago

Everything becomes crab on long enough timeline, Daniel-san. Be the lobster! Shell on. Shell off. Sift the floor.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

We seemed to have it all hammered out. Love me some Cambrian explosion, wild shit! It was like the 1910-1920s for the industrial age. "Throw it at the wall and see what sticks!"

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