Microblog Memes

When I was a kid I had a hypothesis that autistic people simply lacked souls and that that explained their symptoms. (I don't think this anymore)

I underwent a total dickectomy

I kicked a decrepit german shepard to death.

In my school there was a kid who consistently made plans to SA other students and regularly bragged about it. The school administration not only knew but actively went out of their way to defend him.

almost blew myself up for good after a pistol flare exploded half a meter from my face.
went to the ER with superficial burns on my left hand and hearing damage that still rears its ugly head out to this day.
each time i think about that moment i realise that if i had been in any other position when that flare blew up i probably wouldn't be here today

I went for a walk on the Hudson Bay coast of far northern Ontario once when I was a teenager and we saw a polar bear. We're Indigenous and my family has connections up there so we went to visit them many times when I was growing up.

We had seen the bear a few days before from the safety of a frieghter canoe filled with a group of hunters with high powered rifles. We were in a 24 foot canoe and the bear was a huge adult that was probably about 12 to 15 feet long on four limbs and probably 20 feet standing. We looked at each other for a while and then dad and his hunter relatives fired warning shots next to the bear. The spray of firing a high powered shot in mud and clay is like a mini explosion or a land mine going off. It scared the bear enough that it started running. The land there is completely flat and featureless and the bear was gone on the horizon as a speck in a matter of minutes. We didn't want it near our camp.

My cousin and I went for a walk later, we came across the big claw marks of the adult polar bear in the mud and clay of the seashore. The marks were huge and it looked like it was made by a small backhoe or tractor. Clean cut marks from four huge claws with each limb. We were impressed and measured them with our feet and hands and head. We said to ourselves, hey this thing could tear us apart in seconds.

It was then that we realized, we about an hour long walk back to camp, we're alone and this bear could reappear at any moment and come running or even just walk fast at us from far away in a matter of minutes. All we had were shotguns to go bird hunting and we were just 16 year old kids. And we couldn't really walk fast in the muddy clay and tundra marsh where we were.

If the bear had been anywhere near us that day ... we would have been one of those little box newspapers stories of two teens that got killed by a bear in the northern wilderness.

Context is really important. If he’s an undertaker it might be a bit odd, but a final act of love for his wife.

But if he’s a trucker, for example, that’s more than slightly odd.

I can honestly say I don't feel the emotion of guilt. I'm not a psychopath. I have a conscience and have a very strong moral compass.

But I don't feel guilty. Just fear of getting caught... In fact what I feel most is fear. The only person who I feel happy with is my girlfriend and if she ever breaks up with me it'll probably break me as a man.

I was lucky to have survived having gone my first 5 years of life with a heart valve that was back bleeding.

I also cannot tell when I'm having a ear infection unless liquid comes oozing out. I have had some many in my life that they just don't hurt at all.

I spend time on google maps just browsing, learning where different places are in the world.

One time someone put a burred out map showing their location and I knew exactly where they were.

I promise never to use this power for evil.

I do a band count before I start peeing into the toilet….

“A-one, a-two, a-one-two-three-four!” peeeeeeeeeeeee

I then usually start singing a tv show theme song like Happy Days as I keep the flow going. Disturbed yet?

The town's undertaker embalms everyone who does not embalm themselves. Who embalms the undertaker?

when encountering new people i am open and friendly, but mask up as they start saying things that let me know they are not safe people. at some point they become unsettled and go away.

I ate my twin in the womb.