Memes

Oh....apperently I'm too evil to be a cashier.

I wouldn't murder. I would go about my day, without a trace of evidence that I'm even angry.

I'd just come over, help the guy, and take note of his appearance, and the current time. Then I'd head to the back after my shift, and talk to the security guy. I'd make up some reason I have to check the security tapes. But I'd do it in a way that sounds like it's just buddys being buddies. Nothing suspicious.

Then I'd watch the tape 10 minutes after the encounter. I'd watch the parking lot. See where he goes. Find him getting into his car. Take note the make and model of the car, and the liscense plate.

Now I use public records to track him down. I find out his name, his address, his work, his life. I find out everything I can about him.

Now I hire the biggest musclehead there is. Not to beat him up, but to have an affair with his wife. Make his wife feel properly fucked and orgasm multiple times. Make it a regular thing. All without the wife realizing it's a ploy.

His marriage ends, as his wife no longer loves him. And NOW the real plan can commence.

I'd hire a woman who looks visually similiar to his wife, but much more dominant. I'd hire her to seduce him, but also take control of their relationship. She'd have him whipped, and play off his emotional insecurity that he would lose her if he doesn't do what she wants. And she'd get demanding, and have him whipped.

She would eventually take him to an actual dungeon. She'd get him naked, and tied up, laying on his back with his ankles being worn as earrings. And as he'd tied in that position, completely vunerable, that's when I emerge from the shadows, revealing my master plan for revenge!

Except, it was a forgetable moment, 5 years ago. He has no idea who I am. Doesn't matter. He's already in position, and I've worked too hard to get this exact moment to where it is.

He's totally exposed, vunerable, and can't move.

COMMENCE THE TICKLE TORTURE!!!

I imagine they're depressed. Their job is to help out idiots every few seconds. When not doing that they're probably pondering the validity of a doomed race.

I don't use those self checkout machines because they're a serious liability to me. If I fuck up and miss scanning something, then I get a shoplifting charge. Best case, they realize it was a simple mistake a trespass me indefinitely for it.

Fuck you. Ring up the items for me.

I also now have a new policy. If they have more self checkout open than regular checkout, I leave my cart in the parking lot NOT in the buggy corral.

There used to be sort of an unspoken honour system that if they didn't have to pay a kid to collect carts, prices would stay down. Now they're reducing their labour AND bumping prices to increase profits.

Fuck you. Collect your own cart.